Monday, December 3, 2012

what is Kink?

Kink is simply a name used for the world of alternative sexuality.  In first trying to get a working knowledge of this term for use here at the Joy of Kink, let's look to Wikipedia for a definition, where we find:
In human sexuality, kink describes a range of practices: spanking, tickling, bondage, dominance and submission, sadomasochism (BDSM), cuckoldry and sexual fetishism. Kinky practices go beyond what are considered conventional sexual practices as a means of heightening the intimacy between sexual partners. Some draw a distinction between kink and fetishism, defining the former as enhancing partner intimacy, and the latter as replacing it. While others define "kink" as lesser (possibly socially acceptable) form of fetishism. Because of its relation to "normal" sexual boundaries, which themselves vary by time and place, the definition of what is and is not kink varies widely as well. Practitioners are sometimes considered to be perverts by "outsiders".
That's a pretty wide ranging definition, and it doesn't give a whole lot of clarity or understanding to the term kink, perhaps another alternative definition might help . . .
We will be using “kink” as shorthand for: The great big world of sexual adventure, including, but not limited to, voyeurism, exhibitionism, fetishism, fantasy role-playing, cross-dressing, power exchange, swinging, leather identity, erotic restraint, consensual non-monogamy, ‘naughty sex’ and BDSM between consenting adults. In short, the realm of sexuality perceived to be outside the mainstream.
Photo property of Serafina Samadhi
That definition comes from kink and BDSM educators Lee Harrington and Molena Williams, and it's last sentence provides what I consider to be the best insight into what kink is or isn't.

To my mind, it's actually far easier to define the world of kink by what it isn't than by what it is - Kink isn't standard procreative sex as condoned by dogma in most religions.  In other words, if it's not something that has been given the "Good God Seal of Approval" from pastors, ministers, priests and or monks (not the twisted kind) - then it's probably part of the world of kink.

Kink is the wife who enjoys having her bottom warmed by a spanking given by her husband, kink is the husband who likes to follow the bedroom directions of an assertive wife.  Kink is the guy who's especially attracted to ladies stockings or underwear, and kink is also the lady who harbors secret "rape" fantasies.  Kink happens when people tie each other up for sexual excitement, or when one partner takes charge of the other's sexual play, whether for a minute, an hour, a day, or a lifetime.

Kink very simply defined, is sexual adventure and sexual play.  And, when I look around, I see very few people who couldn't use, or enjoy, some sexual adventure and play.

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