Saturday, December 22, 2012

quotes from Michael's Kindle

'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when one wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought!

    --  Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Thursday, December 20, 2012

slave assignment 12/20/2012

My darling Serafina,

Yesterday was your birthday, another milestone on our journey together.  Today is a good day for reflecting on the past year, reflecting on how you've grown,  reflecting on how our relationship and our love has grown, and obviously reflecting on how your submission has grown.

Tomorrow, however, is a good day to get back to work. 

In addition to your normal duties and responsibilities, I'm going to ask you to prepare and complete a "service resume" for me.  I expect that your service resume will fully outline all the experience and skills you bring to the table as a service oriented submissive.

My darling, you tell me that your service to me brings fulfillment, which by the way warms my heart.  In my heart, I also know that I can better direct, use, and appreciate your skills and your service.  So, it could be said that it's one of my personal resolutions, that in the upcoming year, I will grow in applying and appreciating your service.

With love and passion,

Serafina's reply to assignment

Animal Husbandry

Responsible for 1000+ feeder cattle in winter weather.

Able to keep, breed, and milk a cow or goats.

Able to raise chickens, ducks, turkeys for eggs and meat. Includes killing, and eviscerating and processing the same.

Have bred and raised rabbits- 15 bucks, and 150 or so does with does cycling every 3 months with an average 8 kits apiece to dress out to 5 lbs within 8 weeks. Sold as fryers, and selling extra breeding stock.

Keep indoor dog and cats.

Have bred, raised and showed Red Factor Canaries, and took 2 second place best in show and one third place in 3 years. I built all my own breeding cages, rearing pens, and show boxes

Have been a bee-keeper for just over 6 years. Have advanced experience in raising queens. Cleaning, repairing and maintenance of brood and honey chambers. Extraction of honey.

Outside of home work experience

1968-1971- Mowing farm-yard grass- gas push mower. Various farm chores, Summer-fallowing and work with Versatile four-wheel dually tractor pulling 25 ft blade from 5 AM till 10 PM – no breaks, Various household chores, cooking for harvest crews, child minding.
1971-Elder home care Lady dying from MS
1975- first child born
1976 – Formal dinning hostess and waitress also serving beverages in the lounge as needed. Responsible for setting up and maintaining salad bar.
1972-1980- Various sales and home-party sales including companies Fuller Brush, Watkins, Tupperware.
1978-second child born
1979-began real estate sales included 4 week seminar for retail sales offered through Century 21. I listed, and sold my first listing within 60 days. The listing was one that all the other agents were unable to get.
1980- Worked for Great West Insurance Co- servicing medical extensions for self-employed truck drivers, and similar which entailed a large area so frequent travel in inclement weather.
1981- Manager of condominium high rise- collecting rents, rentals, maintenance, supervising tenants. Also grounds keeping and walkways etc.
1987- third child born.
1989- 1990 – raised meat rabbits, beekeeping, garden. Part-time caregiver to Quadriplegic.
1991- fourth child born.
1990- 1994 - beekeeping, garden. Part-time caregiver to Quadriplegic.
1994- death of first-born
1999 – 2000 survival mode, garden. Part-time caregiver to Quadriplegic.
2001-2003 - Became Medical cannabis user, and created discussion groups for medical users or alternative herbs to cope with pain. Sharing knowledge and seeds of hope. Met and developed friendship with Michael Samadhi and his then wife. Became live-in companion for an 92 year old gentleman
2003-2004 continued to cultivate friendship with Michael Samadhi and his wife and was invited to become a partner in triad relationship, Joined them physically, severed remaining prior ties

2004 – 2009 Became caregiver for Micheal's mother and support for Michael as his wife of 16 years began preparations to divorce., which completed late 2009.

2010- Michael have clearance to get married. Our wedding is held on the banks of Mississippi River in Ken Butterworth Parkway.

2010 to current- Living and enjoying life with Master Michael.

Other things I do or have done for fun

Photography- Joined ABPA ( Abbotsford Photo Arts Association) – A venue for professional and free-lance photographers, to share tips, tricks and compete in monthly challenges. Although no longer a member I still have a deep love of the art to this day. In high-school I spent 3 year as the school photographer, and developing my work in a darkroom- The 3 happiest years of my young life

Artist- I enjoy drawing and painting. digital manipulation, and creation

Hobbyist- 1/35 scaled WW2 armory scale models and dioramas, 1/12 scale miniature doll-housing.
Faberge- style egg, Beading, sewing, candle-making, and anything else that catches my interest.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

our 1st munch

Well my dear friends and readers, the lovely Serafina and I went to our first munch last night, an event put on by Quad City Kinks.  Even though we ended up leaving pretty early, we very much enjoyed ourselves and look forward to going again.

I guess our biggest problem is being "early to bed" kinda folks, as we normally get ready for bed about the time most folks would just be gearing up for a night out on the town.  I figure that feeling sleepy by 9pm didn't ever help anyone's social life, it certainly doesn't do any wonders for us.

It didn't help that Friday nights was the company Christmas Party for my business, so the night before the munch was not only mandatory, it ran rather late (as such events are prone to do.)  We started the day tired.

Then there was the weather.  We had a storm front seemingly stalled over us, bringing a soaking downpour upon us just as we left Friday night's festivities.  The rain lasted through Saturday as well, and though I'm thankful for the moisture because we've been in a drought, this kind of weather always seems to make my arthritis pain worse.

So by the time my delightful slave/wife and I arrived at the munch, we were already very tired and very sore.  The warm welcome we received from the folks who arrived before us were very nice.  With the excitement of going, and doing something new, not to mention meeting new people (perverts just like us,) I think we forgot our pain and fatigue, if only for the moment.

The event got pretty big.  When it was all said and done, the total headcount reached 32, a very impressive total, especially when it's considered that our modest metropolitan area of less than 500,000 actually has 2 different BDSM social groups.  Viva la kink!

We enjoyed a nice meal and some good conversation with the folks around us.  Everyone attending the event introduced themselves, allowing us to put some faces with screen names we knew from Fetlife.  And, there was a very nice holiday gift exchange.

To be honest, the size of the crowd caused a little bit of difficulty for me.  I'm going to sound more than a little bit like a decrepit old man when I say this, and it's true I'm not getting any younger, but I honestly have trouble hearing clearly when I'm at a noisy event or when I'm in a crowd.  It's always been a bit of a problem for me, so it's not just age I reckon.

And in some venues, catching 3 out of every 4 words isn't a problem.  But I can tell you for sure, it is more than a little problematic when making introductions for the first time.  Leading to embarrassing exchanges like the following (fictionalized to protect the names I really did butcher . . .)
"Oh, so your name is WagonFlower?" I say not quite sure I heard correctly.
"I'm sorry DragonBlower," I respond, just a little embarrassed when corrected.
"Oh geesh, I'm really sorry DragonFlower!  Really I won't get your name wrong yet again, I promise . . ." I said, finally getting it right on my third try.
Perhaps I wasn't really that bad for me last night, but it felt that way.

All too soon, the excitement ended for us, as we found ourselves getting sleepy and sore.  Not having had the foresight to bring along any decent pain medications, we found ourselves packing up and heading home.  It was earlier than we'd hoped to leave, but we felt satisfied with the food (about what you'd expect from the chain restaurant that hosted us) and the company (we met some nice folks we'll enjoy seeing again.)

Thursday, December 13, 2012

inspirational message of the day . . .

I see fetishes… it's better than seeing dead people.
    --  found on Fetlife

btw - Serafina and I are both on Fetlife . . .
Friends here are welcome to become friends there!
And, Serafina and I are actively working to become better citizens on the kink world, and that means community involvement.  We'll be going to our first munch this weekend too.

Friday, December 7, 2012

bondage basic - single column tie tutorials

A variety of single column tie tutorials, for use in bondage and Shibari, as demonstrated by Twisted Monk, Esinem, and David Taylor.

All of the tutorials show the same basic tie, but there are small variations that make viewing the entire set of videos more valuable than any of the individual videos alone.  Twisted Monk manufactures and sells hemp (and other specialty) rope for bondage aficionados.


The two different single column ties demonstrated by Esinem help to illustrate the differences between bondage styles of the East and West.


Yet another tutorial, this one sponsored by Hebari, the owner of Naturally Twisted, a company that manufactures jute rope for Shibari and bondage.

  As stated in the introduction, there are some subtle differences between the various single column tie tutorials collected together for this post, but when it's all said and done, there are far more similarities than differences.  Practicing and learning any of the variants demonstrated here will help to give a person interested in bondage or Shibari a good basic foundation from which to work.

What is BDSM?

BDSM is a significant element, a central pillar (to use a construction metaphor) of the world of kink.  All of the many and varied practices, procedures, protocol, and play associated with BDSM are part of the world of kink.

I consider BDSM to be a sub-category of kink because all things BDSM fit inside the kink umbrella, while some kink activities aren't necessarily considered to be part of BDSM.  Wikipedia defines BDSM as:
"A continuum of erotic practice and expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play."  
Photo property of Serafina Samadhi
That continuum might be considered to cover activities ranging from playful restraint and light sensation play (like tickling) - to spanking and role-playing - and from there on to more intense activities like suspension, mummification, flogging, and whipping.

Some fantasies go even further still into the extreme, for instance there are communities devoted to people with rape fantasies, and if you join FetLife, you may very well encounter men who dream of being castrated, or of being subjected to some kind of real medieval torture.  I tend to view those sorts of fantasies as being a sub-set of the BDSM world.  But it could be argued that they would be better categorized instead simply as part of the world of kink, as they may not perfectly fit into any of the three different subcategories that have been melded together as BDSM.

BDSM is an acronym that is actually an amalgamation of three other acronyms.  Wikipedia calls it a compound acronym.
  1. B/D or B&D stands for bondage and discipline.  Individuals who take part in B/D derive erotic pleasure from activities like being restrained (bondage) and/or being spanked (discipline.)
  2. D/s or D&S stands for dominance and submission.  Individuals who practice D/s derive erotic pleasure from activities where one individual relinquishes authority or control to another.
  3. S/M or S&M stands for sadism and masochism or sadomasochism.  Individuals who practice S/M derive erotic pleasure from the giving and receiving of strong stimuli, sensations most of us might otherwise consider to be painful or intense.
These days, I personally prefer to identify with, and place myself under the larger umbrella of "kink", but when I was in my 20's and 30's, I would certainly have told you I was into B&D (not to be confused with D&D, which I was geeky enough to play too) as well as S&M.

Language is a transient thing, and because of that, the way we identify ourselves changes and evolves over time.  I've also found that as a kinky individual, my identity and interests are evolving right along with language, at the very same time, seemingly together, and I have no way of really knowing how one effectes the development of the other.

When it is all said and done, the term BDSM encompasses a very wide range of activities and subcultures under a single banner.  The term kink encompasses and even wider range of cultures and activities under an even larger umbrella.  Because these artificial groupings are a relatively recent phenomenon, only time will tell whether such encompassing terms remains useful or meaningful a decade or two in the future.

Monday, December 3, 2012

what is Kink?

Kink is simply a name used for the world of alternative sexuality.  In first trying to get a working knowledge of this term for use here at the Joy of Kink, let's look to Wikipedia for a definition, where we find:
In human sexuality, kink describes a range of practices: spanking, tickling, bondage, dominance and submission, sadomasochism (BDSM), cuckoldry and sexual fetishism. Kinky practices go beyond what are considered conventional sexual practices as a means of heightening the intimacy between sexual partners. Some draw a distinction between kink and fetishism, defining the former as enhancing partner intimacy, and the latter as replacing it. While others define "kink" as lesser (possibly socially acceptable) form of fetishism. Because of its relation to "normal" sexual boundaries, which themselves vary by time and place, the definition of what is and is not kink varies widely as well. Practitioners are sometimes considered to be perverts by "outsiders".
That's a pretty wide ranging definition, and it doesn't give a whole lot of clarity or understanding to the term kink, perhaps another alternative definition might help . . .
We will be using “kink” as shorthand for: The great big world of sexual adventure, including, but not limited to, voyeurism, exhibitionism, fetishism, fantasy role-playing, cross-dressing, power exchange, swinging, leather identity, erotic restraint, consensual non-monogamy, ‘naughty sex’ and BDSM between consenting adults. In short, the realm of sexuality perceived to be outside the mainstream.
Photo property of Serafina Samadhi
That definition comes from kink and BDSM educators Lee Harrington and Molena Williams, and it's last sentence provides what I consider to be the best insight into what kink is or isn't.

To my mind, it's actually far easier to define the world of kink by what it isn't than by what it is - Kink isn't standard procreative sex as condoned by dogma in most religions.  In other words, if it's not something that has been given the "Good God Seal of Approval" from pastors, ministers, priests and or monks (not the twisted kind) - then it's probably part of the world of kink.

Kink is the wife who enjoys having her bottom warmed by a spanking given by her husband, kink is the husband who likes to follow the bedroom directions of an assertive wife.  Kink is the guy who's especially attracted to ladies stockings or underwear, and kink is also the lady who harbors secret "rape" fantasies.  Kink happens when people tie each other up for sexual excitement, or when one partner takes charge of the other's sexual play, whether for a minute, an hour, a day, or a lifetime.

Kink very simply defined, is sexual adventure and sexual play.  And, when I look around, I see very few people who couldn't use, or enjoy, some sexual adventure and play.

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