Skip to main content

prt-1 How To Become a Submissive- if you don't think you are yet

This is a script from a conversation I had with another person on a submissives forum. . Names, etc have been changed.


Dogwood flowers
photo by Serafina


Sent: Wed May 13, 2009 12:29 pm
by Daisy
hi Serafina
thank you for the welcome note. in regard to the parent - child scenario, no i don't have children. i don't roleplay in this regard either, rather i use it as an example as if a child is punished for misbehaving or not following the parents rules, so should a wife be. i know punishment was always a deterrent for me as a child so i feel it should work as an adult. unfortunately, for me my husband does not punish so infractions are more frequent. i'm hopeful that joining this group will help me to be more obedient. i cant seem to locate a place where there are a concrete set of rules to follow.
Daisy

Re: welcome note
Sent: Wed May 13, 2009 5:44 pm
by Serafina
well thanks for pm-ing me I did not expect a private answer. . . You see, I am so opposite of your thinking. That does not mean that either of us is more correct. . . it is simple the way I understand . .let me explain. . .Marriage and relationships are built in an adult world. . . adults even supervise young children's relationships. . . . therefor a spouse would not dare to punish me for any infraction in my world. . .UNLESS it is strictly play. . it smacks of abuse excuse.

I am responsible for ME!
I am not responsible for my partner nor my friends much less acquaintances.. . . and I am pretty sure that no one is going to force you to do anything. . . because in the end YOU! . . my dear are going to take responsibility for YOU! 
It is a leg in your journey called LIFE and learning to be submissive and and in that the submissive one holds all the power.
I wish you the very best and most interesting journey.
Your friend,
Serafina
PS you can pm me anytime if you wish

Re: welcome note
Sent: Tue May 19, 2009 7:05 am
by Daisy
Serafina
thank you for your insight. i actually agree with you completely, however how does one reach this level of submission?
Daisy

Sent: Wed May 19, 2009
by Serafina
That is the Million dollar question with a 5 cent answer. . .
You become completely responsible and be accountable to yourself, for yourself, by yourself. . . .how? . . .by practicing being the very best Daisy you can be. . .by being upright and trust-worthy in every aspect. . .
of course some areas will require a lot of work and some areas may come naturally. . . let go of what is not important, and decide who/what really matters. . . don't forget to allow time for play and have fun, but realize even that is a type of work, or it can be, because some of us don't know how to relax.
        It sometimes will not be easy. . . because breaking old habits can be       difficult. .  . but if you can refocus on a new one and earn it for yourself, you begin to feel more accomplished and as you feel fulfilled, you begin to reach towards more of the same. . .

Now . . .when you are on such a journey you become more desirable and attract one of 2 kinds of people. . . one you need to avoid because they see in you someone to rescue them from their own responsibility, and they may have a strong need to assist/enable them, or and this is what we are looking for, someone who who is like-minded and wants someone to mirror and complete them and you both.
For them submission is simple really. . . it is a meshing and dance that allows each of you your unique and separate identity by allowing him to take the role of leadership within which you are each others primary concern and well-being.

Submission is very much like the old Swiss-made clocks. Inside you will see many little gears and springs, each doing the job they are designed to do. . . imagine what would happen is one of those parts were to get selfish and demand that other parts pick up and take over for them one day, because they just wanted to, or they thought they were far superior to all the rest?. . . Even a King Pin holding it all together is nothing if he doesn't do his part . . or if he has nothing to hold together!

It will take you all the rest of your life to work it out. . . because as soon as you have something under your ownership another project will appear. . . not that you even work on one thing at any time. . . but you certainly have the ability to work on specifics.

So there ya go. . . you make the rules . . . or you can abdicate your power and let someone else hold you to the fire who is likely another person with dysfunctional behavior.. . we all have choices. . .and we better make them clearly.

I am aware that not everyone agrees with me, but I have yet to see where people SAY they have a good relationship and see it last any length of time and not crumble apart with deep resentment when personal needs and desires are not in tandem.
Hang in there,
Serafina


Re: on submission
Sent: Tue May 19, 2009 10:45 am
From: Daisy
To: Serafina
thank you for that response....it made me smile. you sound like a very nice, intelligent person. if you don't mind, let me ask you this one question: in regard to your response to me that i am accountable to me....if my husband has a series of rules or guidelines in the home{which i have to admit are for the best} but it's just "easier" for me to "do it another way" when i can get away with it.... is that not being accountable to myself? if that sounds confusing, let's say that it's easier for me to leave the door open if i have several packages to carry in, he thinks the door should be shut and reopened as needed. although i know the guidelines he wishes i would follow are very valid, is trying to "get away with it being less than upright and trustworthy? i think you're going to say of course its dishonest...
thank you so much
Daisy


Well I didn't have an answer for Daisy then . . I sure hope Daisy is still on her personal journey.  My reply today might be:

Dear Daisy
Perhaps another good word for submission is surrender. 

Complete and perfect obedience is key, because that establishes that you are trustworthy.  Your method may even be better than your master, but unless you have discussed changes or the possibility beforehand you'd be best fulfilling all your word.  Yes you could "get away" with stuff that is less than earth-shattering, but one day you will slip-up and have to account for that.  And anyway do you really want a conscience that knows you are less than compliant?

  If you completely disagree with an edict, you need to let him know, and perhaps you can reach another compromise.  

I wish you wisdom in all your relations,
Your friend,
Serafina

Comments

  1. Serafina your exquisite beauty never ceases to shine. This time it pours from the eloquent and insightful words you speak.

    Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Serafina, your exchange and willingness to help this person is lovely.

    Your photo is lovely too, but those aren't dogwood blossoms. These are dogwood blossoms. My best guess to what your photo is is some kind of flowering fruit tree?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was sure they were- thanks for the correction. Dogwood is the Provincial flower in BC, Canada where I come from.

      Delete
    2. I did not know that. :) I have lots of friends in BC, how did that escape me? I grew up with dogwood trees all over (8 in my yard alone) - it's NC's state flower too.

      Delete
  3. I love this. I love all of this. Every time I read your posts I feel like I learn more. You really do put the Spiritual into things, and I adore it. Thank you.

    Stay SINful
    Mr. AP

    ReplyDelete
  4. Awww shuks! You are very kind- thank you

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Panty Gags (keeping her quiet pt. 9)

Inserting Intimates Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 9) - Panty Gags Welcome to another installment in an ongoing discussion about gags and gagging in BDSM.  Other postings in this series (so far) include: Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 1) - Duct Tape GagsKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 2) - Introduction to GagsKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 3) - Variations on a GagKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 4) - Wiffle GagKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 5) - Serafina's AssignmentKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 6) - Hand GagKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 7) - Drooling!Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 8) - Gag Maker ExtraordinaireKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 9) - Panty Gags Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 10) - Fetish GagsOnce again, I'd like to remind my readers that the series title is not intended to be chauvinistic or sexist.   Instead, it's a reflection of my 30 years of experience exploring the world of BDSM as a heterosexual dominant.

You are who you are, and I am who I am, and it's a beautiful thing that we all aren't the same in our personal wants, needs, and desire…

Drooling!!! (keeping her quiet pt. 7)

Slippery When Wet - Gags & Drooling

Welcome to an ongoing discussion of gags and gagging in the world of BDSM.  Today, I'll be featuring an inevitable consequence of being gagged, as well as the fetish some have for this special aspect of keeping her quiet.

And, it should be said that today's post is a very slippery topic.  It could even be said that it's discussion occurs on a slippery slope, as folks tend to either love or hate the fact that gags can cause uncontrollable drooling.

Other postings (so far) in this series include:
Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 1) - Duct Tape GagsKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 2) - Introduction to GagsKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 3) - Variations on a GagKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 4) - Wiffle GagKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 5) - Serafina's AssignmentKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 6) - Hand GagKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 7) - Drooling!Keeping Her Quiet (pt 8) - Gag Maker Extraordinaire
Please note that the title of the series is intended to be neither sexist nor chauvinistic, inste…

Duct Tape Gags (keeping her quiet pt. 1)

An essential part of any abduction or damsel in distress scenario, nothing screams enforced submission better than the image of a submissive who has been bound and gagged.  Welcome to the first installment of "keeping her quiet", an ongoing discussion about gags and gagging in BDSM.

I'd first like to note, for you my dear reader, that the title "keeping her quiet" is not intended to be sexist in any way.  Please understand that any observations or advice I give are almost always equally applicable to gags used upon a male submissive.  My choice of a female pronoun is not intended to imply that female submissives, nor women in general, should be gagged or stifled from expressing themselves.  This is about the use of gags for BDSM scenes, not life in general.

The articles on gags are intended to be pansexual.  My original working title for this series of postings was actually "keeping them quiet".  While that's a more politically correct title, and…