Thursday, May 24, 2012

about this morning


My darling slave/wife wrote this morning about seeing a glance of disapproval as I left the house earlier today.  I'd be the first to admit it was there, but not for the reason she might have thought . . .  
My darling Serafina,

I hope that by now you realize I wasn't upset with you earlier today.  I was simply "off put" for a moment, and, rather than being mad at you, I was upset with myself for having failed to give better instructions.

I do cherish our normal rituals in the morning, the goodbye kiss as I go out the door, the wave I get from you as I put the car in drive.  I should simply have asked you to delay hopping in the tub for 5 minutes until our ritual was complete.  There was plenty of hot water available to make up for the minor cooling the tub would experience in that time . . .  

I failed to think ahead to realize that giving you permission to hop in the tub immediately, I was depriving myself of the joy of our normal rituals.  That is always a sacrifice, not seeing your face at the door as I leave, but some days it's more of a sacrifice than others.  Today, that kiss at the door, that wave goodbye, would have been priceless.

But, the fact that I didn't get everything I wanted this morning, was in no way a failing on your part, instead it was a lack of foresight and planning on my part.  My leadership failed, not your service.  My mind was already off thinking about my work partners, thinking about this afternoon's meeting.

I trust you so implicitly, that when I'm distracted like that, you might be asking anything from a request for cash to cover household expenses to permission to put a pool in the back yard, I just say yes and don't even think another thought.

I know I preach mindfulness to you, and today I was not mindful.  The best leaders lead by example, and in that I failed us both today.  That was my realization upon seeing you reclined in the soothing warm water as I rushed off to my work.  Top that off with the fact that I suddenly realized I wasn't getting my expected goodbye, and you can fully well understand why you saw a grimace rather than a grin.

In the end, none of that is vitally important, it's all only a single moment, now past . . .

3 comments:

  1. Yes Master I did realize that you were not really upset at me directly. I was also feeling a bit empty because I wanted to see you off.

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  2. Omega would probably quote Sun Szu (if there is such a quote). There was a story he told mouse a long time ago about giving instructions...it was from the art of war.

    Something about if the commander isn't clear or precise enough, he hasn't anyone to blame but himself if his orders aren't followed. But if he is clear and precise he can kill his second in command.

    Or something like that.

    Hugs
    mouse

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  3. Hugs the both of you as the love and care you feel for eachother is so apparant!

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