Skip to main content


Showing posts from April, 2012

Love Hangover

Saturday night Serafina and I have an especially long and intense scene.  It was a marvelous evening, even if I don't have the energy to describe it for you right now. There's a reason I don't have the energy . . . Basically, I feel hungover, despite the fact that I didn't drink a single drop of any alcoholic beverage.

What I'm here to write about today is a phenomena most commonly known as "subdrop" - a physical and mental condition that can effect dominants too.

Subdrop is a condition that seems to be directly related to the intensity of a BDSM scene.  The heavier the play, the more deeply an individual goes into subspace, the more likely it is that they will experience at least mild symptoms of sub drop.  That's also true for dominants, just substitute the word "top" for "sub".  The heavier a dominant goes into "topspace" the more likely they will experience "top drop".

It's been suggested by some that t…

The Bruises We Don’t See

My dear and good friend Cherub, an infrequent contributor I've introduced before, (usually found healing people or trying to make our planet more livable,) has shared an essay on a very important topic, bullying. I don't know that we spent a lot of time discussing my childhood, back when Cherub was part of a BDSM triad with Blissful Torment and myself, so I'm not sure if she is aware that I was a victim of bullying in my youth.  It was probably mentioned in passing but never discussed at length, as it's not a topic I dwell upon or discuss much. My Father's solution to the bullying problem was to teach me how to fight back, as he taught me more than a few fighting tricks he'd learned himself as a youth attending Military School, where he'd been bullied himself. I learned to defend myself well enough to turn the tables on bullies when they tried to push me around. The most sure way I found to put a bully in their place was to respond in kind, and teach them w…

curse of the generalist

I'm a little jealous of true fetishists . . .

It's not so much that I wish to be something other than I am, as I'm more comfortable in my own skin than ever.  No, I'm a bit jealous because it seems that having a solitary focus for one's sexuality would be so very simple compared to someone like myself, who is turned on by just about everything associated with BDSM.

I guess that makes me a generalist in terms of my BDSM interests and practices, a jack of all trades.  Now when I was young I was taught the expression - jack of all trades, master of none - a little turn of speech that I've come call the - curse of the generalist . . .

Although it's not necessarily a true curse, it does sometimes make it a bit difficult to focus.  The generalist has so many options available, it can become difficult to choose.

For instance, our BDSM toybag holds such an incredibly widely varied assortment of gear, that I sometimes fear we don't get proper value from any o…

travelling back to Gor - Master's Bookshelf (pt. 1)

Serafina and I lived many years as caregivers for my elderly Mother who was ill and infirm for the better part of the last decade.  For more than three years we maintained our own residence, but I only ate my lunches there, as it was conveniently located close to my work (you know - the office with the view I mentioned in Prelude to THE Kiss.)

It was hard to give up our own home with beautifully refinished hardwood floors (compliments of Serafina) and real oak woodwork throughout, but it never made economic sense to leave it uninhabited, and Blissful Torment (who was still partial owner) refused to sign off on allowing tenants.

So we reluctantly packed up belongings and moved.  We were forced to move our full three bedroom home's worth of belongings (including full attic, basement, and 2 car garage) into less than half of the actual space of Mom's small 1970's split foyer residence.

Obviously, many things remained in storage, packed away in boxes, stored in the rafters o…

You're Just Dreaming!

another TMI Tuesday

Mirrors on the ceiling & pink champagne on ice... -TMI Tuesday 4-24-2012

1. What is your sexual personality?
a. The Controller – initiating sex, twisting your lover into positions you want, and driving scene play by play
b. Sex Slave – You love to be used and at the mercy of your lover. You don’t initiate but follow and do as you are told. You love to be used.
c. Daredevil – Sexual adventure and sexual thrills are what you are all about. You get off on the risk factor.
d. Subdued – Sex is a necessary part of the relationship so you are available when needed.

Quite obviously, I am - a. The Controller - No surprises there . . . 

2. How many times have you sneaked away from party guests to have sex in another part of the party venue. Where did you sneak to? Were you ever caught? For example, at a wedding reception you sneaked to have sex in the coat room. At a party, you sneaked to have sex in a bathroom or closet.

When I was 16 my first real girlfriend and I slipped away from a Luther Leagu…

asking for bastinado . . .

Serafina and I were partaking in some BDSM style activities Friday night, we'd been playing with clothespins and other goodies in our current sleeping space.  My darling slave/wife was well into into what is commonly called subspace, when it seemed to my mind, that Serafina was in a mindset where her inhibitions were down, and I might try to talk freely about her darker desires.

It's hard, sometimes, to discuss BDSM activities without eliciting odd feelings.  We know in our hearts and in our minds that there's no shame in saying what we want to give or receive, but yet it's hard to put those desires into words.  Sub-space isn't always a productive mindset, there are times it's so deep that a submissive has trouble vocalizing anything, let along forming coherent sentences about desires.

That first edge of subspace, before she's fallen deeply, does seem to me to be a good point to "extract confessions" from a submissive.  I'm not talking interro…

Difficult Lessons?

being driven by one's obsessions does not a Master make . . .

further observations on 50 Shades of Grey
My darling slave/wife Serafina just completed the first part of a recent slave assignment, to review the book 50 Shade of Grey by E.L. James.  With that in mind, I'm now freed to make my own observations about the book, and the phenomena behind it.

Let me begin by saying, that I do believe Serafina is intellectually honest, and certainly is capable of forming and holding her own opinions.  But, I also know that a Master can have an overwhelming influence on their own slave's thinking.  For that reason, I've delayed putting any of my own impressions into writing, as I preferred to avoid unduly influencing Serafina prior to completing her assigned post.

I'd like to start by addressing the audience for which this book was written.  Now, I know that some authors don't believe in writing for a specific target audience, for instance kinky author and online friend Sadey Quinn said to me:
I don’t write for specific crowds, and I do…

Fifty Shades of Grey Book review and discussion

In Slave assignment 3/16/2012   I was asked by Master Samadhi to read a fictional book  titled "Fifty Shades of Grey" by E.L. James.   I am not normally keen on fictional works because most of my reading is some form of self-education, but I have read enough fiction to know how to know the difference between a good novel or a waste of time.  The time wasters don't make it very far before abandonment.  Apart from a couple of grammatical errors the story is quite readable.  Unfortunately there are some darker issues with exactly who the original author or authors are, and plagiarism is amongst them, however I am not going to sort that out here.

I very much enjoyed the book.  I needed to say that before I began taking the book apart!  I am not going to join the mobs that criticize every aspect and detail of every action of the characters.  Those types of reviews can be found abundantly.  I found that many of Grey's qualities reminded me strongly of Master Michael.  The …

take this one off my bucket list . . .

bucket list - A list of things to do before you die. (definition from Urban Dictionary)The term "bucket list" is a fairly new one for me, just a year ago I'd probably never heard the word - (I really should get out more eh?)

It's not so much that we didn't have something similar when I was growing up, we just called it a different name. My friends and I always called such things "wish lists" or "to-do lists", so I guess this isn't a case of an old dog learning a new trick, instead it's simply an old trick with a new name. There might be some subtle differences between the wish lists of my youth and today's bucket lists, but to my eye they are one and the same, just like a quote about a rose smelling as sweet with a different name.

Well, upon discovering the new-fangled invention of the aforementioned "bucket list", Serafina and I began discussing sexual things we'd like to do, and I added in some things I'd like…

Fighting Depression

Self talk matters!

Self talk matters- A lot!

Sometimes when I feel I have failed at something I go into self-hatred.  Master has noticed my predisposition and I now have an edict that forbids me to continue destructive behavior.  Yes I am aware that there are some who carry that behavior by cutting or otherwise harm themselves physically.  When we speak self-debasing things about ourselves, we are doing as much, if not more damage, because it is not as apparent.  Therefore it can do far more harm, and ultimately destroy us.

TMI Tuesday - Michael - Honest Abe Tax Day Edition

Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction . . . Sadly, this isn't one of those times! 
Michael's "Honest Abe Tax Day Edition" of TMI Tuesday.
1. Do you know how to pick a lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access?
I don't really know how to pick a lock, although I do know the "credit card" trick to popping a door open.  I've never used my knowledge to gain unauthorized access anywhere, only to get back into a house where keys had been accidentally locked.

2. Do you know how to open a safe with a rotary combination lock? Have you ever used this skill to gain unauthorized access? What did you find?
No I can't crack a safe.  I do know a guy who could do this for me if I asked, for a small fee.  In my mind that's better than knowing myself . . .

3. Have you ever made a copy of a key you were not supposed to have? Did you use it to gain unauthorized access? What were you looking for? Did you find it?
I'm afraid this particul…

Welcome to Wisconsin! - How I Met My Slavegirl (pt. 2)

We left our last installment with . . . "She'd been near despair, as she'd begin to fear that all the dire warnings and predictions she'd heard prior to her trip to visit me might have come true.  I assured her that my affection for her was very real, and that I was very much a man of my word."  Yes my dear reader, it was a real wonder that my Serafina ever made it to meet me, as a number of individuals had taken it upon themselves to prevent our meeting from ever happening.  

You see, Serafina and I did meet first online . . . 

As Serafina and I walked to the car, I very much wanted to bring up the turmoil at her website, where a battle for the very soul of what Serafina was working to accomplish had been occurring.  It was an emotional issue for us both, but it wasn't the kind of thing one discusses walking through airport concourses, at least not here in the US.

Instead, as we were greeted by a picture of a smiling Richard M. Dailey with the caption, "W…

not fan fiction . . . 50 Shades of Sellout

It's not everyday that a book with BDSM content makes best seller lists. Sadly, it's not always the best books that become the best sellers either.  I suppose that's true for other art forms with a popular side.  

For instance, the so called "Bubblegum Rock" of the 1970's was vastly popular in it's day, generating lots of airplay and record sales.  But, it is rarely played today, not even on stations that exclusively play music from that era.  

The converse is also often true.  The first album by the Velvet Underground originally had dismal sales, The Velvet Underground & Nico topped out on the Billboard record charts at #171, but it's gone on to become one of the most influential records of it's era.

Obviously, as in the world of book publishing, the popularity of a album isn't a good indicator of it's quality and ability to stand the test of time.  Why would BDSM fiction be any different?

I have great respect for author Laura Antoniou, h…

scary . . .

Happy Friday the 13th"13" is Michael's lucky number!

My Mrs Robinson moment . . . or . . . True Love Don't Stink!

This post is about the smell of love, sort of anyway.  

Yes really, that's the subject, the smell of love, in it's own strange biological way . . . 

In my most recent post, telling the story of meeting Serafina for the first time, I divulged a little bit of my history as an avid backpacker and environmental activist.  Well, I've not followed anything like a normal career path, I had a unique history before my time in the trenches fighting for social and environmental justice.  

I was once training to become a Chef . . . 
Today's story begins at Grand Canyon National Park, something like 25 years ago, in the days when I literally called that park my home.

Oh yes, my dear reader, I spent a year living with a natural wonder just a couple of minutes outside my back door.  It was a good year, a tumultuous year, an era where I had an overwhelming number of new experiences in relatively short period of time.  I know the period will remain unmatched in my lifetime, in my personal …

Prelude to THE Kiss - How I Met My Slavegirl

There's more than a little backstory before the tale I'm about to tell, but I've never been very good at putting things in chronological order, at least not good at putting them down on paper in proper order.  In reality this is probably "Episode 4" in the story of how Serafina and I became Master and slave, so the rest will have to come as some sort of prequel.  Call me George Lucas if ya must, I'm sure the only individual who could be offended by such a quip is Mr Lucas.
Anxious.  That's what I remember most, being nervous.  Filled with the kind of nervous anticipation you get moments before a performance.  I remember that in my childhood Mom had always called that feeling, "having butterflies in your stomach."   Well, in this instance, it was the whole freaking Monarch Butterfly migration fluttering around just below my chest cavity.

There I was, standing in a vast terminal in Chicago's O'Hare Airport, waiting for my new girlfriend who…

further discussion of the "birth control" debate

Ultimately, I wish that issues regarding our sexuality were never politicized.  Unfortunately we live in a world where everything is politicized, including behaviors and beliefs that are essential to our humanness, spirituality and sex.  Because we live in a political world, and because this is an issue that ultimately deals with our sexuality, I do believe that the overtly political discussion of the ongoing debate about birth control and insurance coverage is appropriate for this blog.

It seems to me that this is an ugly debate, as it touches issues that are deeply felt by everyone.  When discussing issues like economics and morality, we are inherently on unstable footing, all of us.  Despite our personal assurance that many individuals feel, that their faith is the one true faith, that sad truth is that nobody really knows what's on ther "other side", or even if there is an "other side".

Any debate that sets people up for desperate opposition based upon their…