I see a number of Submissives struggle to stay under Domination. I too struggle from time to time. The best advice is what I remind myself to do is what I advise others to follow. I refer here to Male as Dominant and Female as Submissive, because that is my world. I offer the reader to re-interpret the terms to suit your perspective.
If you love and honor your husband then you are following the greatest Biblical tradition. . And if you call him Master or Lord or Sir, then you are in very fine shape to take the next step. Letting go should not look that much different in most things you do. . but your own attitude will be the most dramatic show.
Within the 24/7 BDSM world, rules that govern a relationship is in a sense taking back the ideals that are in the scriptures. Women are honorable, they have deep spiritual understandings that come from a variety of messengers including every time a woman goes into Estes. During the messes there is a holistic, and spiritual cleansing using only the freshet blood to wash out and slough out spent tissue. It is a perfect time for a women to take a little timeout to regroup her thoughts, get some needed rest, and regroup for the next page of activity.
|photo by Serafina Samadhi|
It is a good time to get a spa, do your nails, and get a massage and reflect. Ponder on as many things that are positive as possible. Things that seem less positive can be re-channeled into positives. You have to seek them out. A terrible thing may have happened, but what can you learn? Forgive any hurts. You must let go of injuries for your own sake. Adding them up, and hanging on to hurts will make you sick. In poor health you can not make good judgements as well as when your mind is unencumbered.
There will be many times when you slip into an old way of doing things, but try to think about any consequences before you do whatever. Soon this will become a habit and your Master will be honored by it.
There will be times you forget; then half-way through when you remember who you wish to be. And, there may be time when it does not occur to you at all that Master may want to have a say. Confess, apologize, state how you arrived and let him tell you to move on, unless you both engage in reminder play. . it will all be good.
Just be aware and follow through what you have signed up for.
We Submissives are a very fortunate to have found a Master who is patient and takes us back time after time. And he is also fortunate to have a slave who takes time in considering what goes wrong and why.
Relationships are work! it takes both sides to be a relationship. And, no relationship is without flaws.
One of the greatest vulnerabilities of Doms is fear of his slave changing their mind and begin to accuse them of making them do things against their will, and ultimately abandonment. It is important that we fight fairly. Dominants should not threaten with strong actions to reject, nor should the submissive threaten to abandon. Not unless, that is, you are serious, and not just pouting.
It is well possible you are somewhat conflicted yourself about what it is you actually want. I know for myself when I was raising young children it was easy to want more. . or something. . anything else but what I have. The grass always seems greener on the other side.
Not realizing that what I had was exactly what I really wanted. I could only appreciate what I had back then, when years later all was striped away because one of us was so selfish to use the children as pawns. I am so very very lucky to have been sheltered by Master Michael.
My suggestion is to make a list of all the pros and cons of any decision and decide which is your best path. But if incidents arise suddenly without thought, then you need to decide if having your own way is more important that the relationship.
The one very important thing you are doing is reflecting on where/how/when did things go off-track. If you can understand where or how it got off-track then you both can work on better solutions.
We would be interested in hearing how you are working things successfully.