Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Panty Gags (keeping her quiet pt. 9)

Inserting Intimates
Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 9) - Panty Gags
Welcome to another installment in an ongoing discussion about gags and gagging in BDSM.  Other postings in this series (so far) include:
  1. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 1) - Duct Tape Gags
  2. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 2) - Introduction to Gags
  3. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 3) - Variations on a Gag
  4. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 4) - Wiffle Gag
  5. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 5) - Serafina's Assignment
  6. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 6) - Hand Gag
  7. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 7) - Drooling!
  8. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 8) - Gag Maker Extraordinaire
  9. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 9) - Panty Gags
  10. Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 10) - Fetish Gags
Once again, I'd like to remind my readers that the series title is not intended to be chauvinistic or sexist.   Instead, it's a reflection of my 30 years of experience exploring the world of BDSM as a heterosexual dominant.

You are who you are, and I am who I am, and it's a beautiful thing that we all aren't the same in our personal wants, needs, and desires.  Instead of being offended by any references I make to sexual orientation that might be different from your own personal sexual sensibilities, I simply ask that you change a pronoun (or two) in your mind to bring my writing into line with your own sexual orientation and/or world view.
i absolutely love it when my hubby ties me up and take my panties off and force them in my mouth no matter how much i tell him to stop. the taste of my own panties is a huge turn on for me and he also loves doing it. then he would secure my mouth with a silk scarf and threaten to spank me if i dont keep quiet. he just loves watching me there tasting my own panties.
    ~ Sharin
The right pair can get your day off to a sexy start, either because they remind you of someone or rub against you maddeningly. You can lick your lovers through their drawers, teasing them and making the underwear part of foreplay. Panties make a great gag if you want to muffle loud moans or screams (consensually, of course). Panties can also be used to bind ankles, either for masturbation or as part of a bondage scene.
  ~ Rachel Kramer Bussel - The Village Voice
Panties as a Gag
Lingerie is like wrapping on a Christmas Present, it makes everything underneath just a little more special.  While I always find a naked woman's body to be beautiful, there's something especially attractive about the allure of a partially clothed lady.

I've always had a great appreciation for women's lingerie, it's one of my earliest sexual memories.  I prefer luxurious, lacy, and expensive lingerie.

I think part of the fascination with women's underwear comes from growing up in the 1970's and being exposed on a fairly regular basis to magazines like Playboy and Penthouse.  Models in those magazines were often adorned with the finest lingerie to be found, so I guess it's no surprise that I developed a strong taste for the "good stuff".  

I didn't just look at the pictures, I read the magazines from cover to cover, absorbing everything from lush advertisements to letters from readers.  It was there, in Letters to Penthouse, that I first read about panty gags.  And, from that very first reading, I was fascinated.
I was just 18 years old the initial time I used a panty gag on a woman, my first wife Charlie.  In retrospect I understand that Charlie was far more submissive than I realized at the time, certainly she was a kinky dream for a young man such as myself to conquer.

We'd already lived together for two months, so we'd explored most of our vanilla desires while dating.  I wanted to do something special for our wedding night, so I decided to introduce Charlie to bondage, and my plans included a panty gag.

I'm thinking that the full story of tying up my first wife on our wedding night should be reserved for another time, so suffice it to say that I did live out my plan, Charlie got her first taste of a panty gag that night.  I loved stripping off her panties and wadding them up before stuffing them into her mouth.  I also loved the helpless coos and mews she made as we fucked.
Some prefer to use them straight from her lingerie drawer, but for many others the only proper way to use panties as a gag is when they are freshly peeled off their intended victim's hips.  I can appreciate both methods.  

When I'm feeling kind and generous, there is a certain elegance about using a fresh pair from the dresser.  A well trained submissive will keep her lingerie drawer(s) in order, so a proper Master can expect crisply folded intimate wear to be easily available at all times, should they choose this option.  If you are just getting started with this kind of play, and your submissive is perhaps a little hesitant about trying a panty gag, it's usually easier to convince her to try a pair that's been freshly laundered.  

With that said, there is almost always a different mindset for the submissive when the panties are just peeled off.  When used as a gag, already worn panties are usually more humiliating for the submissive to endure.  In some cases that might mean they are also more exciting, it all depends on how you and your submissive respond to play with intimate apparel.
Delicious Humiliation
There is no escaping a panty gag's extreme brand of enforced intimacy.  So, in my eyes, the ultimate panty gag is one soaking wet with the submissive's own juices.  

Not everyone would agree, but to my eyes that's the best reason to use a panty gag, to force the "victim" to taste her own excitement.  I'm sure that I remember that being stressed in those letters to Penthouse I read oh so many years ago.  That's the most delicious element of this particular gag (pardon my pun).

As with all things in life, your mileage may vary.  My kink may not be your kink, so if the thought of stuffing a worn/soiled pair of your girlfriend's panties into her mouth really freaks you (or her) out, that's ok, there are still plenty of avenues to explore, just focus on the activities that do turn you on . . . 
If you are a Mistress, you also have an alternative a Master like myself will never have, the added option of of using your own panties as a gag, then your slave can taste you instead of herself.  It's a very interesting twist and turn of events, as well as a bit different element of psychology, but only available to panty wearing dominants. 

I have read gay male porn where a sweaty jockstrap is used as a gag, so I do know for a fact that some people turn the tables on this equation and use male undergarments for gagging.  But, we are getting into an area of gag play where I have no personal experience. 

While I've never encountered a female submissive who fantasized about, or in any manner could eroticize, a sweaty jock strap being shoved into her mouth, I'm sure there are some out there.  

I'd imagine the psychology to be similar to the use of a panty gag, I just don't know.  Perhaps someone with experience being gagged with male undergarments could leave a comment?
Some panties make better gags than others.  Little itty-bitty stringy thingies, my name for panties with no real material to speak of, are not very useful as gags.  There's just not enough of anything for them to work, unless you'd like her to chew on her itty-bitty stringy thingy like a stick of gum, but that's about the only option they offer.  

Most other panty designs can be used successfully as gags.  In some cases, a more generous pair of panties actually offers a few more options (see illustration below.)  Just remember that the biggest risk associated with a panty gag (or any other gag for that matter,) is the risk of choking.

With that in mind, a more generous pair of panties that have been folded into a nice ball that fits on my palm makes the ideal panty gag, at least that's my personal preference.  A nice length of hemp or jute rope can be threaded through the panty ball, or the panty ball can be folded around the rope, which ever method seems to work better for you is the one to use.

The rope helps to secure the panties in place, preventing them from being spit out or swallowed deeply enough to choke, an elegant solution to the two biggest issues involving panty gags.  A pair of women's nylons can be substituted for the rope, and I'm sure that you, my dear reader will come up with even more alternatives I've never imagined . . .

Imagination's a wonderful thing, ain't it?
As you can see from the illustration (above) it's also possible to use a panties in coordination with other kinds  of gags.  I remember a variant of this particular use for panties being mentioned, of all places, in the Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort.

It wasn't offered as a gag, but panties over the face and/or mouth/nose were suggested for use on a bound male to keep him "connected" to his female partner as he lay bound while being slowly and tortuously masturbated.  If you don't remember that advice from that old classic text, you better go back and read it again!

Most folks think that panties worn over the face look rather ridiculous, I'd tend to agree.  Perhaps that's part of the point, as it does further increase the humiliation of the submissive, if that's your kind of kink.

I know my ex-wife shuddered at the mere threat of having it done to her, as she'll never forget the one time I put panties on her head in this fashion, the crotch of her panties wet from her own excitement, now pressed right over her nose and mouth.
Safety - First & Always
No discussion of any sort of gag is complete without at least a nod to safety concerns, and it should be noted that panty gags are no different.  Panty gags do present a choking hazard, so they should be always be used in an attentive fashion.

BDSM should only be practiced with consenting partners, and that's especially true for gags.  It's my experience that gags are often the very first truly scary and edgy practice that a submissive is asked to participate in by her dominant, and it's true that gags are something that should only be used when there is a good level of trust built up between partners.

This isn't the place to go over all of the factors a submissive should consider before playing with a partner they do not know well, simply suffice it to say that being gagged puts the submissive into a very vulnerable position.  So, it should only be negotiated and considered once partners have developed knowledge of each other's personality and style, and time has been taken for real trust to develop.
As I said before, playing safe is always the top priority, so always monitor an individual who has been gagged, never leave them alone, not even for a few moments.  Even the best designed and most well thought out panty gag can slip and cause choking, and that is something that can not ever be allowed to happen to an unattended individual.  There is only one solution to that particular problem, never leave a gagged submissive alone!

Also, it's vitally important to have prearranged safe-signals in place (since gags make safewords unintelligible) before using a gag on anyone.  It's also important to cultivate an environment where the submissive knows it is ok to use her safeword.  If she's afraid to use her safeword because of emotional recriminations on the part of the dominant when it is used, actual safety is greatly diminished or even eliminated.

Always remember my favorite quote from Guy Baldwin:
It is not enough for Masters to thrive on control; They must also crave responsibility and approach ownership with integrity, honor, honesty, common sense, and balance. There is no place in ownership for consuming rage, narcissism, viciousness, or other childish behavior. Ownership is for grown-ups.
I'm sure there's more that could be said about panty gags, as undoubtedly there are fetishists who could wax poetic about the differences between silk, satin, and cotton panties as gags.  More could be said about the subtleties behind humiliation play and panty gags, or about other devious ways to "flavor" her panties with her's or your own love juices.  I leave those things to the true panty fetishists and the extreme panty gag aficionados.

I will leave you, my dear reader, with a panty gag video found on these interwebs, a classic damsel in distress bit of playacting, and then one parting thought.  


"In the end, the only limits are safety, the limits of your submissive, and your own imagination."

Adieu!
Michael Samadhi
3/27/2012

4 comments:

  1. Love the ball-gag panty combo. Now that is some creative gagging...

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  2. Imagination is a very wonderful thing Ms Quinn! :)

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  3. I love the look of absolute joy on the faces of the very first picture of this essay.

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  4. Black silk panties and a red ball-gag! Fabulous! I've seen a picture of a girl ball-gagged with her pink satin panties over her head, slung over a butch older woman's shoulder, presumably taking her down to her play-room!

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