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Showing posts from March, 2012

Finding Submission -a very honest question

I was cruising through the list of blogs we visit like I often do.  Sometimes I comment if I think that I can contribute something positive or constructive.

 Today I found a post with a very simple question, and it inspired me to ponder the question.  Just how much of what makes a person who is willing to become a Submissive slave compelling to a Dominant becomes lost as she looses herself to her Dominant?  In other words, How much does a Submissive repress their goals, talents, or even her natural charm to become what the Sub thinks the Dominant wants.  And is that the result the Dominant is looking for?

Ideally, I think it should be that a Dominant would desire to let her shine and polish and enhance her abilities.  I am not sure when and how that happens, but it seems that way, especially as I read fantasy and personal accounts of activities.

Perhaps it is because the authors assume their kink is everyone's kink.  Many authors leave out the  details about how enjoyable it was to…

Who Are You?

Who are you? No really! who is the real person peering out of your eye sockets?
Did, or is your life turning out the way you had envisioned it?
What is different?  Is it better? or worse?
How will people remember you when you are gone?

Panty Gags (keeping her quiet pt. 9)

Inserting Intimates Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 9) - Panty Gags Welcome to another installment in an ongoing discussion about gags and gagging in BDSM.  Other postings in this series (so far) include: Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 1) - Duct Tape GagsKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 2) - Introduction to GagsKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 3) - Variations on a GagKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 4) - Wiffle GagKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 5) - Serafina's AssignmentKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 6) - Hand GagKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 7) - Drooling!Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 8) - Gag Maker ExtraordinaireKeeping Her Quiet (pt. 9) - Panty Gags Keeping Her Quiet (pt. 10) - Fetish GagsOnce again, I'd like to remind my readers that the series title is not intended to be chauvinistic or sexist.   Instead, it's a reflection of my 30 years of experience exploring the world of BDSM as a heterosexual dominant.

You are who you are, and I am who I am, and it's a beautiful thing that we all aren't the same in our personal wants, needs, and desire…

“How delicious are these implements of torture.”

The Marquis de Sade was a fascinating man, an individual who it could be argued was (and to a great extent still is) greatly misunderstood.  Please enjoy this collection of quotations from the man who's name will forever (for right or wrong) be connected with the word sadism.
Never may an act of possession be exercised upon a free being; the exclusive possession of a woman is no less unjust than the possession of slaves; all men are born free, all have equal rights: never should we lose sight of those principles; according to which never may there be granted to one sex the legitimate right to lay monopolizing hands upon the other, and never may one of the sexes, or classes, arbitrarily possess the other.All universal moral principles are idle fancies.
'Til the infallibility of human judgements shall have been proved to me, I shall demand the abolition of the penalty of death.What is more immoral than war?
Your body is the church where Nature asks to be reverenced.Social order at …

Hymn To Beauty

O Beauty! dost thou generate from Heaven or from Hell?
Within thy glance, so diabolic and divine,
Confusedly both wickedness and goodness dwell,
And hence one might compare thee unto sparkling wine.

Thy look containeth both the dawn and sunset stars,
Thy perfumes, as upon a sultry night exhale,
Thy kiss a philter, and thy mouth a Grecian vase,
That renders heroes cowardly and infants hale.

Yea, art thou from the planets, or the fiery womb?
The demon follows in thy train, with magic fraught,
Thou scatter'st seeds haphazardly of joy and doom,
Thou govern'st everything, but answer'st unto nought.

O Loveliness! thou spurnest corpses with delight,
Among thy jewels, Horror hath such charms for thee,
And Murder 'mid thy mostly cherished trinklets bright,
Upon thy massive bosom dances amorously.

The blinded, fluttering moth towards the candle flies,
Then frizzles, falls, and falters--"Blessings unto thee"--
The panting swain that o'er his beauteous mistress sighs…

had a Coke then a smile

I'm a bit of an insomniac, prone to waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning and being unable to return to sleep.  Those early morning hours are quite often my most productive time for writing, which usually mitigates most of my disappointment at not being able to sleep for 7 or 8 hours straight like most people.

As is usually the case, I was up before Serafina this morning.  My first action upon moving downstairs where our home computer stations are set up side by side, was to grab a Mexican Coca-Cola.  Although I know it's not the best thing for me, Coke is my preferred morning drink.  I know most people opt for something like coffee or tea first thing after waking up, but I've never really developed a proper taste for those beverages.

Because I am mildly diabetic, I only allow myself a single bottle per day.  And, I drink the more expensive imported version because it's made with real sugar, rather than the high fructose corn syrup used to sweeten domestic Coca-Cola.  I&#…

I Am Deciding

Have you recently, or ever. . made an important decision? Was it life-changing? or a minor correction?
How did that decision affect you and the ones you love? Would you decide the same way again? Did BDSM or Spirituality influence you?

a question from tumblr

I was asked a question last night over at tumblr that I'd like to share here.   I've included my own tidbits of advice that I posted as my answer there, but my real hope is that some of this blog's readers might have further advice . . . Hi, I was wondering if you know any type one diabetics who are in the scene too, and how they cope with being a diabetic during play time. I personally am a type one and my master and I were just curious about others and how they might go about it. Anonymous I am diabetic but Type II and only mildly, well controlled as long as diet is reasonable.  Serafina my slave/wife was severely diabetic during pregnancy.  Neither of those, however, compares to living with Type I, and I don’t know a wide enough circle of people to have a good friend with experience here. What I can say is that any scene, even the mildest, tends to have the same effect on blood sugar as pretty strenuous exercise.  Before I was aware of my blood sugar problem, I was having …

a quote

I also have a blog where I post a daily quote that's relavent in some way to BDSM, even if the connection is tangential or philosophical.

Here's an example of the kind of thing you might find there . . .

Most people find it difficult to grasp that whatever they like to do sexually will be thoroughly repulsive to someone else, and that whatever repels them sexually will be the most treasured delight of someone, somewhere. One need not like or perform a particular sex act in order to recognize that someone else will, and that this difference does not indicate a lack of good taste, mental health, or intelligence in either party. Most people mistake their sexual preferences for a universal system that will or should work for everyone.

    ~ Gayle Rubin, “Theory of the Politics of Sexuality”

Happy Saint Patrick's Day

Hello today to my fellow Irish . . .

After all everybody is Irish on St. Patrick's Day, at least that's what is said . . .

I don't live in Chicago, but the State of Illinois has been my adopted home since 1989, and Chicago really celebrates the holiday in style, as they dye the Chicago River green for the city's annual St. Patrick's Day parade.

Serafina and I don't have any special plans to celebrate the holiday in proper BDSM style.  For the life of me, I can't think of a single thing that's the color green residing in my BDSM toybag.  I guess for next year I'll need to purchase some green rope . . .

The only "green" idea I currently have is to partake of some role play with Serafina as a whore, where she'd get a couple of wadded up greenbacks tossed her way as I was zipping up.  But, we've played that game before.  And, while it was good fun, I don't feel any special need for an encore to celebrate any particular holiday, no…

different Shades of Grey - slave assignment 3/16/2012

My darling Serafina,

On your Kindle you'll find three new books by E. L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed.

Your assignment is to read the trilogy in order, and make 3 separate posts, one for each book. Each post will detail, discuss, and review an individual book. Your review of book one is to be completed before the end of April, book two by the end of May, and book three by the end of June.

with desire, devotion, and dominance,
Michael X. Samadhi

What I love most about the hoopla surrounding "Fifty Shades of Grey" is that the story here isn't really about women getting turned on. It's not even about women desiring more sex with their partners. It's about women sharing information with each other. It's about storytelling and friendships. Women have found something that enhances their emotional and sexual lives and want to pass that knowledge onto their friends, family members, and even the world at large.
    ~ Dr. L…

about last night

Hello again my dear reader, it's been a long week here at Castle Samadhi.  I've been feeling more than a little tired, and at least a little bit melancholy this week.  Today, however, is much better.

I'm not sure if last night's chain of events is related to my improved feeling, but, I spent the better part of a half hour whipping Serafina with two different horsehair floggers, then continued with another hour of play afterwards.  It's was a spontaneous event, as one of the floggers was new, and it was just begging to be used.

Two nights ago I had spent a few minutes getting acquainted with my new horsehair flogger, hefting it, feeling it's weight and balance.  I spent some time running my hands over it, admiring the workmanship and quality of my new tool, filling the device with my own energy.  Then I finished with some "air flogging" - simply swinging my tool, getting used to it's length, handling, and fall.

Last night, I "beat" Seraf…

those "Circuits of Sexuality"

SM is a practice of the self, a form of community and belonging, an impetus to consumption and lifestyle, and an eroticization of social inequality.
  -- Techniques of Pleasure: BDSM and the Circuits of Sexuality by Margot Weiss As I mentioned in a posting earlier today, I've been engrossed lately in thinking about Techniques of Pleasure: BDSM and the Circuits of Sexuality by Margot Weiss.  I'd like to share some of the quotes that were thought provoking, worthy of discussion, or perhaps parallel to my own way of thinking.

For instance on the topic of Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) my highlight from Weiss' book was this:
Alison Moore argues that "when we invent these sorts of simplistic slogans to differentiate our behavior from nonconsensual violence, what we end up with is often a set of definitions that do not reflect anyone's way of doing SM." She continues: "For me the whole beauty of SM play is that it doesn't always make sense, that it does tak…

Techniques of Pleasure

SM is a practice of the self, a form of community and belonging, an impetus to consumption and lifestyle, and an eroticization of social inequality.

   ~ Techniques of Pleasure: BDSM and the Circuits of Sexuality by Margot Weiss

Much as ethnographers go to places like New Guinea to live among and study the natives, putting their customs and rituals under the microscope of science, so has the BDSM community been studied.

Yes, boys and girls, a scientist moved to San Francisco and lived among the leather crowd to study and analyze our behavior.  Now there's a book retelling and analyzing the experience.

The book's author, Margot Weiss, specializes in the ethnography of contemporary sexual cultures and politics as an Assistant Professor of American Studies and Anthropology at Wesleyan University.

Serafina asked me, as I read her the opening paragraphs, if such a study legitimizes what we do.  I replied, "It may very well have that effect."

I wonder at the same time to…

dreaming of mercy in your daddy's arms

dreaming of mercy st.

wear your insides out
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms again
dreaming of mercy st.
'swear they moved that sign
looking for mercy
in your daddy's arms

looking down on empty streets, all she can see
are the dreams all made solid
are the dreams all made real

all of the buildings, all of the cars
were once just a dream
in somebody's head

she pictures the broken glass, she pictures the steam
she pictures a soul
with no leak at the seam

lets take the boat out
wait until darkness
let's take the boat out
wait until darkness comes

nowhere in the corridors of pale green and grey
nowhere in the suburbs
in the cold light of day

there in the midst of it so alive and alone
words support like bone

dreaming of mercy st.
wear your inside out
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms again
dreaming of mercy st.
'swear they moved that sign
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms

pulling out the papers from the drawers that slide smooth
tugging at t…

Sonnet 43

Perhaps the most well known love poem of all time . . . Posted for and dedicated to my Serafina . . . 
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

gone but not forgotten

Dear Mom,

It's not easy to know where to begin, to catch you up on what you've missed since you've been gone, so just know you've been missed.

It was a very mild winter here.  I didn't really have to ever shovel snow, not a single time.  Isn't that a hoot!

There were a few cold spells, but none of them strong or long enough to get the Mississippi to freeze.  I really don't remember any other winter being so mild.  I guess that's another place you'll be missed, I know you'd have had a couple years on the tip of your tongue that were just as mild.  Funny how we all remember and pay attention to different things.

Because there was such little freezing on the river, it wasn't a good year to go eagle watching.  We had one good day where we found several eagles on our regular eagle drive, and we did get a few pictures, but it was a slow year I'm sure you'd have found disappointing.

Smokey is still doing relatively well, but as you know he&…

Your First Kiss

If like myself, you can not remember your first kiss, then it must have been a boring one. . so tell me about the most memorable one!

What is mine you ask?

The first time Master had me come to visit I flew out from O'hare Airport in Chicago, Illinois to return to my Canadian home.  I was about to go into the passengers only area feeling sad to leave when Master scooped me into his bearish embraced and kissed me so gallantly that the entire airport stood still and watched.  The kiss lasted what seemed forever because time stood still at that moment.

Romance at it's best!!


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn…

lazy Saturday afternoon - sex party Saturday night

It's a lazy Saturday afternoon here at Samadhi House.  So lazy in fact that the Master of the House, along with his precious slave, are off to nap.

There's a live show tonight on The Upper Floor (TUF) that Serafina and I plan to watch.  We'll be joining the festivities from the comfort of our own play room, where I've got a very simple plan for the evening.

I'm going to put Serafina into a sweet little spandex sleep sack for the duration of the show, perhaps using the 2-way zipper from time to time to access the bits and nubs I like to pinch, squeeze, and rub. The sleep sack has an open face, so she will be able to watch the show, but she can't move her arms inside the sack, they get snugly encase in their own internal sleeves that are quite inescapable.

It all adds up to some rather delicious torment that builds subtly over time until my slave/wife ends up a quivering mass of flesh and desire.  Who knows what order of torment she'll have to beg for just t…

when you crawl . . . (notes to Serafina)

down on your knees

My Darling Serafina,

When you crawl for me, I want to see your pretty face!

Do not cast your eyes down for I do not wish to see sullenness. Nor do I wish for you to feel shame. I want you to feel feel pride in your role as my submissive, as my sex slave.

Crawl with pride. Know it’s beautiful and pleasing to your Master’s eye. You are always beautiful, but there’s a special glow when you submit!

With Love,

Thank you my dear, kind, and thoughtful Master.

I am honored to crawl whenever it pleases you.

Your devoted and delighted

finding inspiration

I am not always sure that I actually find inspiration. . rather it seems inspiration finds me. I choose to run with it or dare to wait and for sure lose the thought entirely. Many times it comes as I am drifting off to sleep. Then it comes down to 2 choices. Get up write it down and not sleep that night, or hope that the thought will reappear in the morning. . 99% that does not happen. . . arg!

More Than Just the Leather Is Black (pt 2)

Further Reflections on Black History Month Yesterday our dear friend mouse (of Omega and mouse) made a comment on my Reflections on Black History Month post that read: Michael Sir,
It's interesting that mouse has known a few African-American Doms (both male and female), which seems to be more acceptable than in the submissive position.
Yes, mouse can see where economics would play into it. Wonder tho, if DD or simply spanking is used more?
mouseI'd like to begin by thanking mouse for her thoughtful comment, just as I'd like to thank my friend Cherub for originally bringing this topic up in an email.  
Here's how I responded to mouse in comments: Oh, thank you my dear mouse, for the added perspective, it's appreciated~!
Your comment is very thought provoking. I don't know the answer to the spanking and DD question, and I'd guess nobody really knows for sure. I'd be curious to know if you are correct, as this isn't the kind of information demographers o…