Friday, February 3, 2012

Sliding into Submission - working it out in real life

photo by Serafina
I am submissive. . there is no doubt about it.  Unfortunately, there are times in life that one has to behave less submissively:  many times actually.  And, when we are comfortable in our own home, and when is the time and space for us to wrap ourselves in our D/s world.  I wish to remain submerged into our private world.  Sometimes, however, in less playful moments and routines demand attention, I can sometimes forget to check in with Master to discover what is his direction.

We both have an evening and night-time medications to take.  The night-time ones are of course designed to assist in sleeping. Without thinking on one less than playful evening, I automatically set out the night meds  at the normal time.  Master took them, because we trust each other, but then realized that having done so would curtail any hope of any further real play, and immediately I realized it as well.  But it was too late.  Neither of us was feeling the best, and while we take that into consideration we try not to stop, but redirect to milder fun. 

Well, the fun was dun, and I was feeling very regretful. I realized that somehow I was forgetting to stay in  my role of submissive, because there was not always a clear defining line, or cross-over.  It is important in our relationship for me to take initiative  on a number of things that keeps the household, and us running as we should.  But sometimes it is also necessary to just wait, or ask.  Master was unhappy with me and he mumbled about somehow we were not communicating as well as we ought.

I tried to fall asleep now, but my mind was whirling as I heard Masters breathing turn into deep sleep.  I was struggling to find a way to stay in pure submissive form.  I am always and foremost submissive but I consider the work-week/daytime not as formal and thus not as purely submissive.  Being pure submissive is my goal for weekends and all other such times like holidays, and even week-day evenings.  It occurred to me that maybe we needed to establish a ritual that would deliberately delineate work and public world from our own sacred space.

Our home is a dedicated sacred place set aside for enjoying one another in play and love. Every morning I am in his shadow  trying to ensure all details are attended to.  I get our AM meds, Make my tea and get his beverage, make breakfast and run a tub for a bath.  While he is bathing, I sometimes put a towel in the dryer so it is nice and warm when he gets out.  I remember once in a hospital stay a kind nurse put a warmed blanket over me and I never forgot how that feels!  So I do things like that for Master.

I am always at the door to see Master off to work, unless I am going also, and I do try to watch for him and greet him when he arrives back.  If I have been working on a home project, I attempt to arrange to either have a stop-point or be finished.  Most times I can get it tack-on, but sometimes I have to request a extra time to close up shop so to speak, but only if he surprises me in arriving home early.

Anyway, Master forwarded to me a series of articles that helps establish certain routines exactly for the reasons I have just detailed here and he had been thinking along the same lines and we had not taken time to discuss the issue further.  It happens frequently that way. . one of us will act on what the other is thinking often even before we had and conversation about it.  It actually surprises us when either of us is on a different page anymore.

In the next essay I would like to initiate a small routine that will delineate outside or public submission from our sanctuary and deeply devoted slavish submission that deepens our relationship. . . . Meanwhile as we are creating our routine and protocol, I wonder . .  do you have any protocols you have worked out , and how they came about, and also how well are they working for you?

. . . . to be continued. . . ..

2 comments:

  1. Serafina,

    We have a lot of protocols and rituals. Both public and private. The public ones work really well. They work to shield ourselves or help to insulate us when we are in public view.

    home right now is VERY complicated, in fact we were just talking last night that outside we're doing better than inside...At home we exist right now, in a perpetual state of organized chaos. LOL

    We don't see that changing anytime soon, but we are adapting to the whole thing fairly well. It's only been a couple months...LOL

    Hugs,
    mouse

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Mouse!

    Our home is in massive state of . . .ummm organized chaos. Because we are renovating and trying to live and love there at the same time. Not real sure about the organized bit. . we are constantly figuring out. . now where did we put that??

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There have been some redirection in the Samadhi Haus.  There has been a large gap of action here and for that I apologize.  I am going to ...