Antoniou is deliciously and wickedly outspoken about the BDSM community. I recently found a collection of her quotes that are undoubtedly controversial. I've added a couple more relevant additions from interviews and the like to fill out the collection. At the very least, I hope that quotes shared here are thought provoking . . .
A true slave, one who will be cherished and valued, will never allow their skills and talents to become stagnant. They will never be satisfied with their level of competence. And they will always be willing to follow their owner’s lead, quickly, respectfully, and to the best of their ability. To be thrilled at the touch of leather, aroused by the sound of harsh words, or satisfied by the security of rigid bondage is the mark of a lover. To be thrilled at the opportunity to provide useful service, aroused by a pleased nod, and satisfied by the proverbial job well done, is the mark of a slave.
I see the world thru a lens where every relationship has sado-masochistic overtones to it.
I’m a big pervert. I find all forms of human sexuality to be interesting. I don’t find them all arousing, but I find them all interesting.
People write to me and say “I wish you wouldn’t put so much ‘gay male sex’ in your books”, and I tell them to go screw themselves.
Fantasies aren't reality, I know, I know, I know. Except when they are. Except when you make them into reality.
And fuck this, I didn't come out of years of fantasy, rescuing myself from a toxic parent and guilt-tripping myself through anti-sex feminism, politically correct lesbianism and socially-programmed homosexual activism so that someone else can make my goddamn sex life into a slogan.
Safe, sane and consensual - what do those words really mean? Assimilation, that's what.
What is happening to my sexuality? It's cold, it's pasionless, and what's worse, it's dull. John Preston was right. SM has become a nice, sweet alternative to heavy petting, and the leaders of this SM 'community' want us to be the Elks or some other animal-named civics association, gathering to sell expensive clothing and raffle tickets, congratulating ourselves on how nice we are.
This used to be about sex. The literature of my people was pornography, filled with cries for mercy, drama enacted on people without prolonged negotiation, partners engaged in a dance in the middle of a bonfire. Now, it's 300-page manuals about how to make sure nothing bad will happen.
What goes on when people overfetishize safety is that they're relapsing into that old frame of mind that what we're doing is BAD.
The trouble is, SMers are allowing themselves to be defined by what they are not. We think, 'Oh, so many people believe that we're all murderers and rapists, and we have to explain that we're not!' Uh - so, a slogan for the gay civil rights movement should be 'Normal, Non-threatening and Not After Your Children'?
I’m a sado-masochist. That’s my sexual orientation. When I was a child, before I could verbalize what I was into, I knew that what excited me were issues of power imbalance, I had fantasies of being kidnapped, tied up, locked in boxes. I did horrible things to my Barbie dolls and to Ken, and to Action Jackson and to GI Joe as a matter of fact, being an equal opportunity sado-masochist.
There are times when I just want to walk through a room, grab that girl, slap her hard and make her cry. Push her down and fuck her mind over twice as hard as her body. Sometimes, I want to be that girl.
My fantasies have never been safe ones. Don't fuck with me, unless you understand that.
Most of the things in my books not only don’t exist in real life, but could not exist in real life. We do not live in a world where you can hide a multi-national slave-selling culture without it being known. And we do not live in a world where there are literally thousands of people who would go into training and leave their lives behind to be sold to a complete stranger without having a say as to who they would be sold to or what they would be used for. Those are the two biggest fictional aspects of my books; and, what I would say to people who try to use my books as an excuse for their ‘delusions’, is: they [the people making these claims] are about as ‘realistic’ as people who say that they’re ‘Klingons’. You know?