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  1. For most I would bet they would say money. For me, it's lack of a Dom.

  2. Not seeing another option.

  3. Dunno, but mouse thinks its fear that keeps most from achieving their dreams, and that makes them unhappy. It takes a lot of courage to strike out on a new path, especially if it's not very well traveled. Now this can mean starting a new vocation, returning to college, or sometimes just leaving behind the very familiar for something different and unfamiliar. Fear can work to keep us stagnant and unfulfilled. Fear can often keep people from seeing options because they're too hard, or require a lot of personal sacrifice or hard work.

    Not saying that fear doesn't serve a purpose in our lives, it clearly does. One of the biggest problems is overcoming the fears we've built up and truly just accepting life, like shit happens.


  4. I am most unhappy when I think that Master is not pleased with me, or if it feels like I am being blamed for something.. . OK. .I totally know that I am far from perfect, and I accept responsibility when I am aware that it is or even if it might be my fault. And I am usually quick to own up and attempt to correct whatever it is immediately in so far as is possible. I even feel unworthy to look him in the eye nor to be in close proximity if it feels like he is angry or displeased with me. My fear then is rejection, possibly because I have been rejected by so many I thought mattered in the past. Master is very patient though and is working with me. Almost always the frustration arises from some not understanding or hearing appropriately.

  5. Serafina - just know that I'll never reject you, I love you for who you are, slave or not, I've always loved you and I always will. You've seen my devotion to individuals who didn't deserve, imagine what I'm capable of for the woman I waited my whole life to meet!

    I don't expect you to be perfect darling, so you shouldn't expect it of yourself. I know that advice is easier said than done, as I myself haven't given up striving for perfection, as it seems to me anything less is just "settling" . . .

    And Serafina, just remember that most common frustration you see in my demeanor is disappointment in myself - Why hadn't I foreseen this? What did I do wrong to bring this about? Why didn't I give better direction?

    I guess I do literally buy into the theory that all faults have their source in the Master, all responsibility lies with the dominant after all, so it seems that "fault" is something the Master has pre-purchased with his own coin . . .

    as for the actual question . . .

    It's more likely that I personally experience anxiety rather than true unhappiness . . . I worry at times about money and work . . . I've sustained many things which might make others embittered but yet I'm not consumed by cynicism (usually) . . . why?

    I've seen a lot more unhappiness than I've experienced . . . and that's actually a choice I make . . .

    when I look around I always see people with more . . . and I've always seen people with less . . . doesn't matter what the "more" or the "less" is . . .

    so unhappiness can be something that's created by the self - it can come from within . . .

  6. Serafina - just know that common is spelled with an 'o' not an 'e' . . .

    so I ask myself - How did this slip past me? Why didn't I check the spelling? Why didn't I preview the piece before it posted? How could I let that happen?

    Thank God my old English teacher is dead and didn't see this! hahaha - and people think submissives are complex - they have nothing on us Dominants let me tell you~!

    See I'm thinking more like a stupid editor than I am like a Dom or husband, and although I'm ever so slightly embarrassed, I don't want anything corrected or changed, it is what it is, and I didn't marry (nor collar) Serafina for her spelling ability.

    like I said - unhappiness is a state of mind - and it's way over on the edge of the map - not a territory I'm choosing to visit!

  7. And like always, Serafina and Michael, your posts between the two of you make me go, "D'awwww!!!" :) So sweet!

    I would have to say, for me, it is not being authentic to myself. When I behave or find myself in situations that are not kosher with my beliefs, my heart, and what's important to me, I find myself unbalanced and unhappy. As my sister and I are fond of saying, "It's balls. And not the fun kind."

    Fear most definitely can play a role for this for me. Fear of rejection, fear of stepping into the unknown... but if I'm true to what I believe and want, push through the self-made paradigm/cage of fears, I am a much happier person on the other side.

  8. Paint shop pro does not have spell-check, Master. I am sure I could have subjected the matter in Open Office, but I didn't. . my bad

  9. Lack of self-awareness - over the years, as I have come to understand myself and my drivers, I learned to accept everything else as part of the plan. So while there may be some brief moments of unhappiness, the bigger picture eventually comes to the forefront and settles things out for me. But in the short term? Failing to meet expectations makes me very, very unhappy (whether they are my own, or someone I care about).

  10. @ Lil - you've got that right - life's too short to be anything but ourselves!

    @ Kate - learning to accept not living up to my own impossibly high expectations is a struggle here . . . I was raised to expect the impossible, mostly of myself. For instance if the grade I earned was an A, well there were occasionally A+ to be earned, so what I'd accomplished was labeled "good" knowing fully well there was always "better".

    I know that's not the same thing you mention, but they are related . . . like cousins or something . . .


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