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Showing posts from January, 2012
Many things can change and mostly they do. . .

Music for Monday - Dead Can Dance

Some of our favorite music for lovemaking and BDSM scenes is performed by Dead Can Dance . . .

Dead Can Dance is an interesting group, their music is very eclectic, often ethereal, and always entertaining.  The band is made up of Lisa Gerrard and Brendan Perry, with a rotating cast of supporting musicians accompanying the core duo.  We've written and shared Dead Can Dance music on two prior occasions - free music for your BDSM scenes and a gift of scene music.

The attached YouTube video is from the Toward The Within, a film made about the band that is mostly a live performance, with a few interviews.  
Skip ahead in the video to the 22 minute and 40 second mark to get a good idea of what Serafina and I enjoy for BDSM playtime music.  Another tune that illustrates what I love best about the band starts 38 minutes and 20 seconds into the video, and a third great example starts at 43 minutes and 40 seconds.

The sounds and instruments are exotic, the rhythmic percussion becomes infect…

Are you "Guys and Dolls" or "Gone With the Wind"???

An old friend, one of the few people I'm in contact with from my school days, had an interesting question for their status at that popular social networking site with "Face" in it's title . . .

There are a lot of different ways to go with this one, it can be good fun, so please take just a moment and participate with a comment . . . 

Describe your sex life with a movie title . . . 


Me?

I went with . . .

Hang "Em High!


Serafina?

Well before we met, she would have said . . .

Much Ado About Nothing!

Thankfully, now that we've found each other, the title she'd choose would not be so bleak . . .

Her current choice?

The Thrill of It All!

So please, dear reader, take a moment to ponder what movie title might best describe your sex life, and then share it here with a comment.

What movie title best describes your sex life?

come on over for breakfast!

The dish is called "Prime Rib Hash" - Finely diced Prime Rib of Beef sauteed w/ fresh ground garlic, diced onion, and other assorted seasonings.  It's lightly browned before adding potatoes.  
I can never give exact measurements for seasonings, as I always flavor to taste, and I use whatever seasonings are close at hand that will fit the bill.  If I'd have had some Bell Peppers available, they also make a nice addition, as they add color, texture, and nutrient value.

I usually use diced 'taters with this recipe. I used to call the style "cottage fried potatoes" - but when you have fresh shredded hash browns available like today, they serve just as well.

Even when I was a chef, we'd adapt and adopt recipes to fit the best ingredients at hand, I see no reason to do it differently in my home.

Additional compliment of two eggs in a Sunny-Side Up styling.

The battery want kaput on the good Nikon camera just as Serafina was shooting some pics of my work…

across the pond . . .

Serafina, being Canadian, is essentially a British Subject (they have the Queen mum on their money and everything - in case you never looked.)  There's a bunch of legalities that go along with such a status, and those darn Brits do change what being part of the Commonwealth means from time to time, which brings to mind slippery slope analogies, none of which would be terribly important or even relevant to the topic at hand, except who doesn't love slippery things?

Instead, without much further ado, and with only slight alliterative wordplay, I'll move directly to the subject of today's post, sex slang from jolly old England.

Compliments of Liberator.com blog . . . Very voluptuous vocabulary, patiently, perspicaciously, and perhaps prejudicially pilfered and purloined . . .
Boff: to have intercourse with someone. “She took me back to the flat and boffed my brains out.”
Cop Of: to make out with someone. “I’m pretty sure I saw your friend copping off with some guy in the co…

walk-in smoke rings -- a parable

I've been many things in this lifetime, it's been an incredible journey.  Depending on perspective, I'm really "just" to my '40's, either that, or I'm "already" breezing past my '40's - but I already feel as though I've lived a richer life than most will experience . . . I've witnessed more than my share . . .

I've done my share of stupid things, brave things, bold things, even illegal things, and I'm working on doing my own share of inventive things too - I've got a bucket list!  I've been good, bad and (worst of all) indifferent.

I've traveled less widely than some, more widely than others.  I've camped and backpacked and explored my country, my homeland.  I've dug deep in our earth, crawled through the tightest of caves, I used to teach rock climbing and rappelling, I have a great love for river rafting.  Many have seen more, a few have done more, most have seen and done far less.  I'm happ…

Time to move? Wouldn't you want to "Stay Moist at Wet"?

For over a decade I was a caregiver to a sick parent.  I'm an only child, so it never felt as though I had any option, the only thing standing between Mom and institutionalized health care was me.  I have nothing personal against nursing homes, but I do know that their residents wait longer for pain meds etc., and Mom's conditions caused enough agony that she was on methadone the entire time I cared for her.

My Father's still alive, but he choose to leave about a decade ago, he just couldn't handle everything that goes along with Mom's progressing illnesses, especially the changes in mental condition that often are associated with terrible chronic pain and opiate drug addiction.

My ex-wife left me, at least in part, because of my devotion to family.  It was her opinion that I was wasting the prime of my life (and hers) caring for an individual that didn't really appreciate my efforts, a person who expected rather than appreciated.

I was released from my caregiv…

file under - VISIONS (not sugarplum)

WARNING - the further you get into this post, the weirder it gets - the humor and imagery get dark - the topic becomes absolutely taboo and even sick in nature - the fantasy role-play near the post's end (if enacted or even discussed) could bring the wrath of B'nai B'rith and the Anti-Defamation League upon you . . . 
it is strongly suggested you do NOT read this post . . . 

Introducing the Paul Seville Human Hair Whip in Blonde . . .
Yes, ladies and gentlepersons, you read right, the flogger is made of human hair.

Did I mention that it is also available with tresses from a redhead?
Paul Seville Human Hair Whip Red
This whip is made from human hair by master leather artisan Paul Seville. And it has an overlapped leather handle. It was inspired by the Surrealist movement. It’s incredibly soft, yet if used properly can carry just enough sting. The human hair whip is delightfully different and extremely sensual. 
Serving Suggestion:
Try swishing this whip between your legs – it fee…

Loving My Library - MsAwake

Today, for the first time here at Spiritual BDSM, we will be featuring a guest post from a friend and fellow blogger, Ms Awake.  Here are the highlights of how she describes herself on her tumblr blog:
I am Ms Awake - Mother of 4, entrepreneur, soon-to-be-divorced, adventurer, runner, Groove facilitator, optimist, graphic designer, traveler, porn aficionado, kinkster, sexually liberated, passionately curious, and lover of life . . .  My blog is called 'Awake', because now that I finally am, and not sleepwalking through my life, I am never going to take my Awakening for granted. I have discovered, been shown, a side of myself that is a part of me that I no longer want to hold down and in. It is a gift to have had my eyes opened . . .  My life is a gift, and I'm living it the way I want to, proudly being me. It's now or never, baby.Ms Awake is a beautiful young submissive who we are just getting to know better as friends.  Were Serafina in the market for a submissive of o…

and the winner is . . .

Final results from the "How should Serafina be punished?" poll have been qualified, objectified (just a little), certified, justified, and perhaps even quantified (anything but dignified!)

We'd like to thank everyone who took a moment to participate!

For posterity's sake I snipped a shot of the results, which can be seen to the right, before restoring the blog's sidebar to it's normal state.  While it may seem as though the total number of votes are relatively low, participation was actually better than we expected.

For Serafina's posterior's sake, the poll results indicate that her first real caning is imminent.

Obviously, there's a certain special mystique to the cane as an instrument of punishment.  To me it's evocative of punishment sessions given out by a proper English Schoolmaster, but the cane certainly has far wider appeal than just that single role-play scenario.

There were also comments indicating that the prospect of this punishme…

gold, glitter, shadows and wandering - some things that are stolen, can never be replaced . . .

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring . . . 

    --  J. R. R. TolkienSome things that are stolen, can never be replaced - A Cautionary Tale by M. Samadhi

Serafina and I have a wonderful new friend who's going to be venturing off to see a prospective new dominant tomorrow . . .

While thoughts of romance and wonderful good times of dominance and submission are always exciting, the "mother hen" in us is always filled with a bit of trepidation, a touch of anxiety, when contemplating the risk/reward equation that needs to be considered when approaching situations like this.

We ourselves are living proof that online meetings can end in true love, happiness, and all the good things you see in our relationship.  We also know that meetings of this sort can go in the opposite direction.  We know…
Please answer with a comment!

Short or long all comments are welcome, and will not be moderated unless they are clearly spam.

Miss Indigo Blue - Goddess of Burlesque

from The Mod Club Theatre - Toronto ON - July 2011


Last night Serafina and I watched A Wink and a Smile, a 2008 documentary about the art of Burlesque dancing.  We enjoyed ourselves greatly!  I've asked Serafina to write a review of the movie for our blog, and I'm thinking the topic of Burlesque will be showing up more frequently.  My slave/wife is seeming rather fascinated with the topic, she was already playing the video that accompanies this post before breakfast this morning!

A Wink and a Smile actually served as the night's early entertainment, the appetizer if you will.  A live show from The Upper Floor served as the main course.  Serafina was feeling a little under the weather, so we didn't "play along" with the party from our own home, as we've been prone to do lately.  But, when all the entertainment was over for the evening we'd managed to save enough energy for some quiet passion in the deep shadows of our bedroom.

All the whips, restraints,…
Damn if I don't hate Plagiarists. You know the kind, I'm sure you do . . .

Plagiarists are people who quote others without attribution or any kind of credit at all! The Plagiarist makes it seems as though the other's words are their own.

In some cases imitation is a form of flattery, and in this case imitation isn't like that at all, it's an outright form of theft.

The following quote isn't by that blog's author, yet it's posted without attribution or any kind of credit for the person who wrote the words you are about to read.

It's not the first time I've seen this particular blog use other's words uncredited. I'm pretty sure it won't be the last either!
erospainter:
The two participants in this BDSM exchange of power are connected – emotionally, psychically, even spiritually. Successful BDSM scenes require a level of communication and honesty beyond what one usually finds in vanilla sexual encounters. A skillful Dom intuits the…

Watch me pull a dildo out of my hat . . .

Serafina and I are making today's post in hope it will help to facilitate an appropriate exchange of information with customer service at the Stockroom . . . It's also an example of the perils of our love of exotic and expensive glass pieces.

Back before Christmas we ordered the Blue Unicorn Dildo (thick) from JT's Stockroom.  From the advertising picture we expected a very special and unique piece, looking like the examples to the right of this paragraph.
What we got when the order arrived was NOT the Blue unicorn.  Not even close.
Hey, mistakes happen, it's usually no problem to correct a mis-shipment with excellent vendors like the Stockroom, it usually takes an email or phone call and everything's set right again.
So when the Stockroom staff apologized for the inconvenience, said they'd ship out a replacement that very day, we sat back thinking all was right in the world, and we'd be playing soon with our new toy.
The "replacement" arrived via USPS…

which route?

There are times in life where actual the route to your final destination is more clear than others . . .

monogamy or non-monogamy? that is the question . . .

I don't know if there are accurate statistics for anything regarding the BDSM community, we're a disparate bunch, and, as a community in North America our history is relatively short.  There's also a lack of necessary funding for any truly large scale studies of the kind necessary to establish accurate demographic information.

With that in mind, I can't tell you what percentage of BDSM lifestyle couples are monogamous and how many instead live lives with an element of non-monogamy or polyamory.  It seems more and more that the most prominent examples in our community are poly, that they play with multiple partners, so I'm guessing that group is the majority.  It may also be the case that poly couples are simply more visible, so they perhaps they just seem more prevalent, I can't say for sure . . .

Which brings us to today's topic for thought and consideration, the question of monogamy . . .

Serafina and I have been together for about a decade now, and over …

can males properly internalize submission?

Question
It's very curious how you refer to submissive and slaves exclusively as female. Why is that?AnswerI am breaking my standing policy to answer to anonymous posters but would tell you that in my experience male submissive struggle to internalize how to truly be submissive so I usually post my learnings from the women I have trained…educated along life’s path
    -- ErospainterWhile I do get considerable inspiration from the various blogs I follow, it's exceedingly rare that I'd address one directly, let alone address a post simply to contradict and disassemble.  If you don't mind odd little metaphors, it's time to say - this is the exception that proves the rule - whatever that is supposed to mean.

Do male submissives really struggle to become truly submissive?

I do know that male submissives are (generally) a bit different from female submissives.  There's no real surprise there if you stop and think about it, vanilla males and females differ considerabl…

Review - The Upper Floor (paysite) by Kink.com

Because we live in the rural Midwest, Serafina and I are a bit more isolated from the BDSM community than we might prefer.  For years our responsibilities as caregivers for an infirm elderly relative served to further isolate us from most any entertainment we couldn't provide for ourselves, right there in our own home. When Serafina and I were wed, we didn't even get a single night away from our responsibilities, having to be at Mom's to deliver medicine at 9 pm the very night we were married.

Our lives are again our own, but we are still what might be called "geographically challenged" here in the Bible belt, rather than living in San Francisco, Seattle, or Vancouver where we'd rather be if circumstance and employment allowed.  Our consolation, for now, is that we can vicariously join an element of San Francisco's BDSM community through our The Upper Floor membership with kink.com.

There are hundreds of BDSM membership sites competing for a kinkster's…

Your Significant Other

Sometimes we just wonder. . .

It's good to be here . . . .good to be ALIVE!!

Coming from a generation of folks who hoped we died before we got old, but somehow didn't manage to make the cut, I do have to say that I feel fortunate to have stuck around long enough to witness the current BDSM community in all it's glory.

I often get inspiration from my fellow denizens of the art of electronic communication.  To be honest, there are far more outstanding BDSM blogs and bloggers than I can follow on a regular basis.  That's what one former boss called a "high level problem" - meaning it's a good problem to have.  Better to have more than you know what to do with, than not enough.

It seems there was once a time where it was exceedingly rare to encounter literate individuals living a BDSM lifestyle.  With the profusion of sex bloggers these days, that's not necessarily as true, as the diversity of the BDSM community truly seems to be unparalleled.

It's a very good time to be alive . . .

Serafina adds:

It is a very good time to be ali…

Rodney Erickson's morally bankrupt & Joe Paterno's criminal . . .

Sexual abuse of children is one area where I see absolute black and white. As readers will see at the end of the post, there's a reason the topic is personal for me. I'm biased, I admit it. There's no journalistic balance in my viewpoint, not even a pretense.

Fuck with a 12 year old child and I personally would like to see every one of your constitutional rights dismissed. It's the one place in life where I believe true torture is warranted. There a special place in Hell reserved for people who sexually abuse children, and I'm not above wanting that awful fate to start here on this mortal coil . . .
It grieves me very much when I hear people say 'the Penn State scandal.' This is not Penn State. This is 'the Sandusky scandal.  We're not going to let what one individual did destroy the reputation of this university.
    -- Penn State University President Rodney EricksonThe Associated Press story I've just quoted, begins with the following lede: