Friday, December 30, 2011

How are you? How was your day?

How are you? How was your day?
What does one reply to the question?

There are lots of people who ask out of just some holy habit. It can be surprising just how strong the forces of habit and rote cognition can be - not really wanting an honest answer. I also know that isn't the case here. But yes - it is such an unexpected thing to have exposed this kind of vulnerability - or fear of being vulnerable.

Almost always when anyone besides Master or close member asks the question, the mind invariably goes into “computer processing “ mode, and given no more thought that computers are capable of giving, Which is to say nothing, and both the one questioning and the one answering are actually grievously dismissive. In the end it is meant to portray a measure of “I care” when in fact neither could care less about the other.

Call it protocol devoid of significance. Or substance, for that matter. I was not used to anyone who actually cared and it was easy to give and OK/fine response because, they were being "nice" by asking but didn't really care. I had done that many times myself.

Sometimes it might feel like a burden or intrusion to have to come up with the details of my day, and sometimes they were interrupting something I was doing. When Master asks. . he really does want to know. He may feel like having a conversation but doesn't have any earth-shattering topic to bring up. It's a kind of an opening gambit . There's no hidden agenda, just wondering about the other ones day.

On the other hand if asked how the day was probably should not be the time to seize the moment and never stop talking or talk endlessly about trivia could eventually shut down the one doing the asking. However during the day when you experience something good or bad you could make mental note that this is something you might share with him at the end of the day.

You might even visualize doing it. Then when you find yourself saying "Fine" you can add, "Well actually, it was better than fine because .... Think of what could happen if we really would ask and really be curious, and be interested in his day as well!

Asking occasionally happens at an inopportune moment, but I love that he wants to share my day. He's the one person that is actually interested in the little things that I mentally bookmark throughout the day what's even nicer, is that it's a two way thing. He has little things to tell me too. As someone said recently “It's a bit like two children emptying their pockets and sharing the treasures they've found that day... a shell, some string, etc!”

No comments:

Post a Comment

The Joy of Kink is Open

Joy of Kink Now Open New Home Please come join me at my new home... The Joy of Kink I'm joined there by some new friends... ...