A lot of that ended with my second wife (Ms Torment), the cordiality that is . . . She had a way of burning bridges, not only for herself, but for everyone around too.
Ms. Torment was a beautiful lady who I now realize was also a narcissistic. Eventually I learned that my style of dominance isn't a good fit for a narcissus styled submissive, and it only took me a little over a decade to figure it out.
In my defense, she was pretty, she was bisexual too, and she very much believed in our being polyamorists. I mean what's a man not to like about that? Oh, I mean other than the constant need for validation that drives some narcissistic people to become unfaithful.
When it was all said and done, the only bridge to my past I've found worthy of repair is a young lady, Cherub, that Ms. Torment and I "dated" off and on for the better part of a decade. I had to think about that for a moment. You see we started dating Cherub when she was 19, and the math doesn't add up quite right if we dated her for 10 years and she's still 29 . . .
I know that youth is wasted on the young, but when I was in my 20's and 30's I had no realization of how fortunate I truly was. Ms. Torment and I had a wonderful string of lovers who were also friends, Cherub being the one who was the best match, intellectually and sexually.
Although we all played at being switches when dating Cherub, in a BDSM context I will always picture her best as a Domme. One night Cherub and I started spanking Ms. Torment as co-dominants. Our scene lasted hours. We may have gotten Ms Torment inebriated with a watered down wine enema (don't try that at home yourselves kiddies!) And, we may have even included some illicit hallucinogens into the mix for everyone (again not on the suggested activity list!)
But the whole night was a beautiful thing to behold. Cherub got inside Torment's head and stayed there the whole night. I've never in person witnessed anyone who got a stronger submissive reaction from "Missy" - as Cherub took to calling the woman who normally prided herself on tormenting others.
If I snapped my fingers at Ms Torment, I'd usually expect a growl in return. When Cherub snapped her fingers that night, lil' Missy turned and came to heel!
We spanked Ms Torment off and on for something like 5 hours, slow and drawn out, but at times quite severely. The riding crop we were using had a significant knot on the end where the flapper attached to the crop's stick. It left little bruises all over Torment's ass and the backs of her thighs that didn't show in candle light.
Torment's ass would get glowing and sore and red, Cherub would pour massage oil down her ass crack and rub it into the burning ass cheeks. Once Torment's breathing slowed and her ass started to wiggle with desire, Cherub resumed the whuppin'. At first I joined in on the fun, Cherub and I alternated cheeks and blows, making a blindfolded Torment guess who had landed the last one.
I couldn't believe a sweet girl like Cherub had that kind of natural Domme in her, and as the evening progressed I found myself gazing on in shock and awe, becoming less of a participant and more of a voyeur. That's the way I'll always picture sweet Cherub, with my bratty second wife over her knee!
But I digress, while this post's about Cherub, it's not about yesterday, it's about the here and now. She's the one individual from that past who I'm still in contact with. Since she's not local, and because of our intimate past, I felt free sharing some of my writing with her, writing that ended up on this blog.
Knowing I'm doing some sex blogging and reviews, sweet Cherub asked for a gift recommendation for herself. Knowing that the choice of a toy is a very personal thing, and not wanting to make assumptions about preferences I might not even necessarily have known a few years back, I asked a few key questions.
Here's the answer I got:
I do have some parameters for my toy, and thank you for asking. I'm mildly allergic to latex- not epi pen throat closing up, but itchy and hive-y. Clitoral stimulation is not my main concern- I'm rather fond of stimulating myself with my fingers to be ready for penetration. Realism is not a priority either, I don't require simulated veins and such. I figure this is for me, by me and I don't necessarily want to replicate the actual feeling of penetration with a partner. I think I want to experience something unique that is a gift to myself-not a substitute for intercourse with someone I am fond of. Which brings me to the tricky question-size. Um- typically I have experienced the most pleasure in penetration with men who have had modestly sized penises. I've had few encounters with men sporting "big cocks" and those left me feeling sort of used and hollow. I realise of course that could also be due to the fact that those encounters did not involve very much emotional affection. I am just not wired to feel that mythical electric lust at first sight. I don't see someone and think, "oh, wow- I really want him to fuck me!" It's more like, "oh wow! he is so cool, I love how he thinks, I wonder if he wants to fuck me?" So, totally diverging from the matter of size. I feel like goldilocks- all right- girth is preferable to legnth...So- is that the information you need?Yes indeed, it's enough to go on my dear.
The other criteria I had, was budgetary. Cherub is a masterful massage therapist I'm told, but that's not a profession that's going to lead to immense riches, so she's a lady on a budget. My suggestion needed to remove less than $50 from her hard earned paycheck.
I also took into consideration her values and lifestyle. Cherub isn't going to feel good about a toy from China. She wasn't letting anything with phthalates into her apartment, let alone into a more private space of her person. I'm sure she'd prefer something made here in the US, and no doubt she'd like the manufacturer to be both environmentally conscious and worker friendly.
gear slut is that I've spent more than my share of time shopping for adult toys. I study this stuff for fun, it's a hobby quickly turning into obsession. So I had the answer for Cherub's request in mind almost as quickly as I read her note.
The manufacturer I suggested for this intelligent and environmentally conscious lady is Tantus. They meet every criteria she gave me, and all the extras I already knew to be her preferences too. Choosing a model wasn't too difficult either, as one of their closeout models is a wonderful bargain.
My suggestion was the Tantus Echo.
I don't know if it's the color Cherub would choose for herself, but we choose the Midnight Purple, it's a really nice toy color. Yes, I recommended a toy already in the Samadhi Toy box. You see, before I stand behind a recommendation, I always . . . . errrrr . . . . ummmm . . . "stand behind" that toy.
As I've said before, when it comes to dildos, I believe it's far better to give than to receive. So in this case "standing behind" means I've given it a push.
So I'll push it again here.
This is the one you want Cherub dear. I can't say it'll be as good as a new pair of boots at attracting a great man, but it may help assure you want that potential "Mr Right" only for the right reasons.
Hugs and kisses from your old friend, former lover, sometimes co-conspirator, and occasional Dom.