Sunday, August 28, 2011

Dungeon Fungeon & the difference between 'torment' and 'torture'

My sweet Serafina, upon occasion, reminds me of the power of the words I use. I don't want to bore you with a bunch of prattle about my business, but my slave/wife's gentle reminders are at least somewhat ironic, because writing and communications are my trade.

I'm very much used to using powerful words to convey messages, illustrate needs, not to mention words designed to help create desires. But, I occasionally need reminders simply because I use powerful words so very much that I am in danger of becoming somewhat immune to their complete effect.

I am of the belief that this is also a common phenomena with some words in use by the BDSM community.

Let's explore, as one example, the common use of the word "dungeon", if you are willing to indulge me for a moment.

I'm currently drafting a future blog entry about renovations we've undertaken here at House D'Amore.  My first draft refers to - "Two dedicated dungeon spaces on two separate floors of our home . . . " Now let's really think about that for a moment.

Wikipedia's entry on dungeons begins -
"A dungeon is a room or cell in which prisoners are held, especially underground. Dungeons are generally associated with medieval castles, though their association with torture probably belongs more to the Renaissance period. An oubliette is a form of dungeon which was accessible only from a hatch in a high ceiling."
Now we all must know that even an individual who has been completely "captivated" (a term my Serafina enjoys very much) in the BDSM sense is always free to end the relationship and leave should they choose.  That's one of the basic tenets that makes Master/slave relationships a lifestyle choice and not abuse.  So perhaps the term - "Prisoner of Love" - would be a better substitute, although again it wouldn't be perfectly accurate for all BDSM relationships, since in some cases there is submission and even slavery without love.

Tomás de Torquemada
Inquisitor General of Spain  
And then there's the word "torture" creeping around the corner, to point and raise it's loaded gun into our conversation.  And while I don't rule out a little strong role-play: I'm certainly no inquisitor like Tomás de Torquemada, I've no interest in recreating water-boarding scenes from Abu Ghraib, I do not wish to become a jailer like those currently found in Guantanamo Bay, nor do I care to reenact magneto telephone tortures from a jungle scene in a hot and humid South American dictatorship.

While there are submissives who may have some kind of those torture fantasies, the number of individuals actually enacting anything approximating real torture is probably not a huge percentage of the BDSM population.  And, while it's sometimes fun to use heavily loaded terms for desired effect, those words can lose effect when they become regularly used in casual conversation.

So, I'm leaning towards using the term "Fungeon" to refer to the new BDSM play spaces we are creating in our home, even one that might appear to be made of stone so as to give the illusion of being buried deep inside some medieval castle.

Yes I do torment my sweet Serafina regularly, sometimes she'll even be driven to crawl or beg, and we do have toys designed to elicit strong sensations, not to mention electrical toys.  But there is a huge difference between the word torment, and the word torture.

Perhaps some people will think that I am worried too much about semantics, that my sense of political correctness is running rampant, but I think moving away from any regular use of the word dungeon as a euphemism for normal BDSM play spaces has a good number of positives to recommend it.

I'd believe it would even be a positive for the sadists and masochists who have a very real desire to play with fear and more extreme sensations.  Ending the casual use of the word dungeon would restore more real meaning to the word when the occasion is right for the use of such a powerful word.

As a Master, I wouldn't necessarily want my use of the word dungeon to only make my slave/wife wet.  I want my use of the word dungeon to make Serafina both scared and wet.  You can help me achieve that goal by using the word just a little more carefully too, fully well knowing the word will be more powerful if it is used carefully.

Now, if I could only find a better term than "play space" - while not linked to as powerful images as the word dungeon - it does instead elicit images of childhood - and I'm thinking that should be reserved for those folks into Lolita style roleplay.

Friday, August 26, 2011

about last night

I used a new silk blindfold on my slave/wife last night.

I've used blindfolds on a couple of previous occasions with her, and intend to make it a more regular part of our play as she becomes more and more comfortable with her submission and the increasing intensity of our relationship.

The new toy is the Lelo Intima Silk Blindfold as pictured in this ad photo . . .

Soon I'll be posting a review of my perspective on the blindfold as a dominant, and then I'll ask my slave/wife to make some additional comments from her view (or lack thereof) from the submissive side . . .

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

TMI Tuesday: August 23, 2011

1. When you go to a party, would you rather show up accidentally underdressed or overdressed?
Serafina - I enjoy dressing up!

2. What is something you have won and how did you win it? (Inspired by the An Optimistic Virgin)
Serafina - Master Michael's Trust

3. Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle, end, or top?
Serafina - Always from the bottom - I even slide the toothbrush handle over the tube from the bottom up to make sure it is used up evenly!

4. What is something your parents used to say to you that you promised yourself you would never say–but now you catch yourself saying frequently?
Serafina - I can't think of anything. . .

5. What 3 lies did you regularly tell your parents? If applicable, what 3 lies do you tell your parents now?
Serafina - I believe that lying is unacceptable. That said, I would not tell all if it was hurtful. For example if you got a new hair-do and were happy with itI would with-hold my opinion and agree with you.

6. What is something that you intended to do today but didn’t? Why not? Will you do it tomorrow?
Serafina - I had intentions of cutting up a watermelon so it was ready for eating but decided to wait 'till tomorrow.

7. What is something that people do in traffic that really bothers you? (inspired by My Quest To Be A Good Girl)
Serafina - People who do not use their indicators when lane-changing.

8. Whose autographs have you collected? (You can stop at five, in case you’re an autograph hound or celebrity stalker).
Serafina - none

Bonus: Where do you go to find solitude, tranquility or connection to a higher power?
Serafina - I very much listen to music. I have conversations with my Heavenly Father as I drift off to sleep. I talk to Him about me, my kids, ask Him to endow Master Michael with courage, wisdom, insight and strength to meet each day and task. And I thank him for all He has done in my life.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

letter to Wyred Slave - makers of my slave/wife's permanent collar

Dear Wyred Slave,
The collar is very beautiful and we are absolutely thrilled with our purchase, thank you very much!
We've started a blog about our life as a Master/slave husband and wife and intend to detail our purchase of a collar from you in a post very soon. The site's URL is I plan to send you a link to the post(s) about the collar you crafted for us once I've managed to shoot some pictures and write a glowing description of Wyred Slave.
We do plan to order more from you in the near future, as my wife/slave has requested a wrist and/or ankle bracelet to match her collar. I haven't told her yet, but I am also eyeing a locking belt as the picture of a locking belt over a corset on your site has given me inspiration!
I just wanted to say thank you again for the wonderful collar, it's a true pleasure doing business with you.
Sincere regards,
Michael Samadhi

Sunday, August 14, 2011

presents for slave girl Serafina

pic from Stock Images

I just ordered some very special treats for my slave/wife because she's been a very good girl for a very long time under some very difficult circumstances.

Now, when it comes to "romantic" presents most ladies would prefer things like lingerie or perfume or massage oils, and I certainly have a great appreciation for those things, but my visions are usually a little darker and quite often there's more leather than lace.

So, just for fun, I decided that the readers of our blog will know the identity of her presents even before my sweet Serafina finds out for herself . . .

In case you are wondering, I'm very certain my Serafina is a good girl and I just she won't ruin the surprise by clicking on the links I'm about to share here . . .

While on my shopping spree I did throw in a couple goodies for myself, although I suppose they really are for use on her . . .

Once the presents arrive we will write about them here and shoot some of our own pictures too!

Friday, August 12, 2011

the lead wheel

My name is Michael Samadhi, this blog will detail the journey I share with my wife Serafina.

Serafina is also my consensual slave, a designation that might confuse or bother someone who's familiarity with slavery is only with forced (or non-consensual) slavery.  With that in mind, I'll try to better explain the dynamics of our relationship . . .

The most simple analogy I can offer is that our relationship is like a bicycle.  I am the lead wheel of the bicycle, it's my responsibility to steer our relationship to assure we reach the desired destinations.  Obviously then, the beautiful Serafina, my partner in all things, is the rear wheel.  Her love and devotion, and yes even her surrender, are the forces that power our relationship.

Make no mistake, regardless of who makes the final decisions, the relationship is a true partnership.  A bicycle loses it's identity - ceases to exist - without a rear wheel, instead it becomes a unicycle.  So a Dominant needs a submissive, a Master must have a slave, in order to be complete, in order to be worthy of the title.

Our relationship is not unlike the Yin-Yang symbol, the two poles of cosmic energy are yang (positive) and yin (negative).  Yin and Yang are associated respectively with the masculine and the feminine, the strong and the weak, the light and the dark, the firm and the yielding.  At the root of Yin’s existence is Yang; at the root of Yang’s is Yin.

I also see a parallel in Tantric teachings . . .
"The entire universe is a manifestation of pure consciousness. In manifesting the universe, this pure consciousness seems to become divided into two poles or aspects, neither of which can exist without the other. One aspect retains a static quality and remains identified with unmanifest consciousness. In Tantra this quality is called Shiva, and is conceptualized as masculine… The other part of this polarity is a dynamic, energetic, or creative aspect that is called Shakti, the great mother of the universe, for it is from her that all is born."

Swami Rama

The Tantric analogy is perhaps my favorite of the bunch. In my mind Tantra and BDSM are intertwined.  Although some Tantric "purists" would say that BDSM activities and Tantra are mutually exclusive, I'd disagree, strongly.  More than 15 years ago, when I first started studying Tantra, I found direct similarities in the altered states of consciousness that BDSM and Tantric practices can create.

Using the word "similarities" is probably a terrific understatement. I'm convinced that some fairly well known altered states of consciousness created by BDSM (sub-space and top-space are two commonly used names for this phenomena) are exactly the same as the headspace created by Tantric practices and rituals.  So it's simple for me to transmute the archetypes of Shiva and Shakti into the roles Serafina and I play for each other.

Ahhhhh, I begin to digress . . .

I believe that Serafina prefers the bicycle analogy best of all that I've offered.  It's by far the most universally understood, and there is more than a little personal history as well.  But, that is also a story for another time . . .

I hope it's been your pleasure, dear reader, to make our acquaintance.  We will return soon with more postings detailing our life together as a couple, as we explore Spiritual BDSM.

Spiritual BDSM by Michael and Serafina Samadhi

Welcome to the virtual home of Michael and Serafina Samadhi, where we share our exploration of Spiritual BDSM.

I'm your host, Michael Samadhi.  That's my smiling face (not to mention my wandering fingers!) in the picture that accompanies this post.

I'll be joined here by my lovely slave/wife, Serafina.  Those are her beautiful legs in the picture, although I'm quite sure you'll see quite a bit more of her if you follow this blog.

Although Serafina calls me "Master", you are welcome to call me Samadhi or even Michael.  While I am a full time dominant (the term Master is pretty much interchangeable from my perspective) to Serafina, my interest is only in consensual exchange of power, I certainly would not attempt to impose anything upon my readers, or any one else for that matter.

Although I call my slave/wife "slut" or "wench," not to mention a variety of other appellations, you are welcome to address her as Serafina, or even Ms. Samadhi.  My lovely Serafina serves me every day, all the time.  She is my submissive, some might consider her to be a "slave" because our exchange of power is total, that role is her utmost desire.  By the same measure that I am Master only to Serafina, her submission is solitary in it's focus, she is slave only to me.

While Serafina and I may not be interested in offering dominance or submission to others, we would like to share our story and experiences, and also our explorations of the spiritual side of BDSM.

The Joy of Kink is Open

Joy of Kink Now Open New Home Please come join me at my new home... The Joy of Kink I'm joined there by some new friends... ...